In This Chapter
^ Understanding your habit and how hard it can be to change it ^ Fighting nicotine and food ^ Getting a good night’s sleep ^ Talking with confidence ^ Chewing away at nail-biting
Makes y
E all have habits. Some are good, some are not so good and some are downright dangerous to your health. Your habits are part of what
Makes you who you are. They’re a part of your personality; part of those
Quirky little things that draw some people to you and repel others. On the
Whole, you happily live with your habits. Happily, that is, until habits go bad!
In this chapter, we address the most common bad habits and tell you how hypnotherapy can help you change them.
Examining Habits and How to Change Them
The word habit has several different meanings, but we use it to refer to any
Pattern of behaviour you carry out time and time again with little thought
Or effort.
A habit is not an addiction. Having an addiction means that you depend on some form of drug – such as nicotine, alcohol, or cocaine – to help get you through the day. When you’re addicted to a drug, your body Needs It to be present in your system. If it is not, you tend to feel awful – something known
As withdrawal. In order to get back to feeling normal, you have to take some more of whatever it is you are addicted to.
Of course, habits can be part of an addiction. Just look at the smoker who
Habitually lights up when he talks on the phone, or reaches for his packet of cigarettes, the moment he steps out of his office. His body is addicted to the nicotine and he also has habits that maintain the addiction.
Hypnotherapy is a very effective way of helping you to overcome those
Annoying bad habits that interfere with your life. Even habits associated with addictions can be effectively treated. However, it is important that you realise
That certain habits/addictions can be treated using hypnotherapy – such as smoking – and certain habit/addictions – such as those to do with heroin, cocaine, and alcohol – should be treated by a doctor. Of course, hypnotherapy can play a very important role in helping you stay drug-free, after you
Successfully beat a serious addiction.
Where do habits come from? In general, you learn them. You start a pattern of behaviour for one reason or another and after a while it becomes so
Ingrained in your mind that you carry it out almost unconsciously. Aha! Unconsciously! This word should give you a pretty hefty clue as to why hypnotherapy can be so effective in treating habits. If habits are stored in your unconscious mind, and hypnotherapy can help make changes to what is
Stored in the unconscious mind, then it stands to reason that hypnotherapy can help to change habits.
So, why would you want to change your habits? After all, your habits are a
Part of your personality aren’t they? Of course they are, but that doesn’t mean to say that you’re happy with every aspect of your personality. And by extension, it certainly doesn’t mean to say that you’re happy with those
Habits that are harming your health, or making your life less pleasurable to experience.
‘Right, I’m unhappy with my habit so I am just going to change it. Simple!’
For some people, changing habits can be as straightforward as that. Make the decision and then make the change. But for many other people, changing
Isn’t that simple. The habit has become a part of your life, something you’re used to doing on a day-to-day basis. Changing a habit means removing something that has been an integral part of your life.
You may miss your habit. Quite strongly! You may associate certain activities with the habit and feel at a loss when you carry them out. You may erroneously
Associate the habit with reducing your stress and feel even more anxious when
You are under pressure because you can’t turn to your habit. In the end you give in to your feelings and suddenly the habit is back with a vengeance.
When giving up an old habit, you must replace it with something else: a new and healthy habit or a suitable strategy for coping effectively without the old
Habit.
After a while, the new habit or strategy becomes part of your make-up and the old one is left safely in the past. And it is with this process that hypnotherapy can play a huge role.
You acquire your habits from somewhere. If you can learn bad ones, you can
Certainly learn good, healthy ones too.
Quitting Smoking
Smoking is bad for you. You know it, and you know what it can do to you in
The long-run – make you very ill and kill you. No point in mincing words here. So, why do people do it? Why do people, when they know the consequences,
Continue to puff on the old coffin nails? Probably because:
V Smoking is addictive. Nicotine is a drug that causes your body to
Become addicted to it. This means that after you have been smoking for
A while your body gets so used to the nicotine coursing through your
Veins and invading your nervous system that in its absence your body
Misses it. Because your body is missing it, it throws a metaphorical
Temper tantrum and you experience the effects of withdrawal. To make yourself feel better you grab another cigarette, light it up and take a long
Drag (Cough, splutter, wheeze!), and hey presto! You give your body
What it wants and, just like a child, the tantrum subsides.
V Smoking is a habit. Oh boy! Is smoking a habit! Every smoker knows about this. Every smoker associates their smoking with various activities they carry out during the day. It’s not that they need the cigarette at
That point, it’s just that they always have a cigarette when: they talk on
The phone, have a cup of coffee, walk to the station, read a book, sit on the loo, watch television and so on. The list is endless. They do it for no other reason than this is what they have always done at this time. It’s
A habit. And if they don’t do it at these times they feel uncomfortable because they feel something is missing; they don’t know what to do with
Their hands and so on. To fill that missing gap, or give their hands something to do, they light up.
If you ask a smoker to tell you which cigarettes they need to smoke
During the day because of the addiction factor, you probably find that there are only a very few. All the other cigarettes are smoked simply out of habit.
Preparing to quit: What to do before visiting your hypnotherapist
Okay. You want to quit. And you want to do it through hypnotherapy. So here’s some useful advice for you to think about:
V Plan the right time to quit. Think about a good time to quit. Make sure
That you plan to quit at a time when your life is going to be reasonably stable – when you have no major events over the coming month or two such as getting married, birthday parties, exams, holidays such as Christmas, and so on. On the other hand, many people find that quitting
Just before they go on holiday is a great time to do it, as the change of
Scenery and lack of all those familiar smoking triggers can reinforce their new non-smoking habit. Fix an appointment with your hypnotherapist and mark it in your diary. Oh, and keep to the date!
V Tell people, who you know are supportive, that you’re quitting. It’s
Always nice to have support and encouragement. These are the people you know you can turn to when your resolve is wavering, or who you know will give you those little words of encouragement just when you need them. Avoid at all costs those who would delight in your failure!
V Get rid of all your smoking paraphernalia just before your hypnotherapy session. Throw out your ashtrays, your lighters, and your stash of
Emergency cigarettes. You won’t need them any more. Once they are gone they won’t be there to tempt you from the straight and narrow.
And ensure that your home becomes a strict no smoking zone.
V Do something that you know will increase your motivation to quit.
You’re motivated, but what else can you do that cranks up that motivation? Half-fill a jamjar with water and drop your old dog ends into it after you smoke each cigarette. Every so often, shake it up and smell the mixture. Nice! That’s what’s going on in your body each time you smoke. Or
Take another jamjar and each time you buy a packet of cigarettes put the
Equivalent amount of money into it. At the end of the week count it up
And see how much you are spending on ruining your health. And then think how much you save once you have stopped. Plan to do something nice with that money.
At your first hypnotherapy session your therapist obviously asks you about your smoking habits. It can be helpful to think about these in advance. You can think about:
V Why you want to quit.
V How many cigarettes you smoke a day.
V The cigarettes you feel you need each day.
V The cigarettes you have just out of habit.
V How smoking affects you.
V How you think being a non-smoker benefits you.
V How old you were when you first started smoking.
V Why you first started smoking.
V Why you haven’t quit before.
V If you have quit before, why you started smoking again.
V How much you spend on smoking each week and what you are going to
Do with all that extra money once you are a non-smoker.
V Any fears you may have about quitting.
This last issue often proves to be a sticking point when it comes to helping people quit.
Addressing your fears about quitting
Hypnotherapy for smoking is not just about helping you to stop. After all, you stop smoking between each cigarette you have. No, it’s also about helping you to remain a non-smoker. That means it should not only address the process of stopping and keeping you stopped, but also those fears that you may have of what happens when you’ve done so. It’s often these fears and
Concerns that prompt a person to fall off the healthy wagon and go back into
The tarpit of smoking. So it is very important that you talk through any fears or concerns you have with your therapist to enable him to create strategies to help you get around them.
Some of these fears and the way your hypnotherapist can help you deal with them could include:
V ’I'm scared that I will put on weight.’ This is perhaps the most common
Fear. It is a fact that some people put on weight after they quit smoking.
But hold on. That doesn’t mean to say that nothing can be done about
It. Far from it. It just means that these people have probably traded one
Habit – smoking – for another – eating. Not to worry, your therapist can
Give you suggestions designed to help you gain greater control over your eating habits. In fact, you should find that you only replace the habit of smoking with the wonderful habit of healthier living!
V ’Smoking helps me manage my stress, so what do I do once I quit?’
This old chestnut! If this is one of your fears, then think about this: nicotine Causes The physical effects of stress. Nicotine increases your heart
Rate, increases your blood pressure, and causes your nervous system to release various stress hormones such as adrenaline.
So why do people associate cigarette smoking with stress relief?
Probably because when a stressed smoker lights up, he’s distracting himself away from the stress by the very process of lighting up and
Smoking the cigarette. He may also remove himself from the environment where the stress is occurring by having to go outside to smoke.
If you use cigarettes as a stress management tool, discuss this with your hypnotherapist. Through a process of suggestion and strengthening
Your ego (see Chapter 13 for more on ego-strengthening) your therapist
Can help you manage your stress in a much more healthy way. And perhaps you might like to book a session of stress management with him
Too! (Chapter 7 addresses stress.)
V ’What do I do with my hands when I’m in a bar?’ This is a very
Common fear among smokers who want to quit. Picture this: You’re in a
Bar, holding a drink. What do you have in the other hand? A cigarette!
It’s as much a part of your drinking as raising your glass to your lips.
Take away the cigarette and you take away part of your drinking behaviour. This can leave you with a sense of loss, a sense that something is missing and because of this you can feel a little out of sorts; perhaps a little anxious because you don’t know what to do with your hand. This is
Easily dealt with in hypnotherapy by the use of suggestion. Suggestions
That you forget about your hand and focus on what you are doing, the people you are talking to and the people around you help you to divert
Your focus of attention away from the empty hand. Another suggestion
That may be used if you do notice your hand, is to replace that thought with a sense of pride that you are now a non-smoker and that your fingers no longer reek like a week-old dirty ashtray.
V ’I find it difficult to say no, so how do I react when I am offered a cigarette?’ You react by saying ‘No thank you. I don’t smoke.’ Your hypnotherapist will give you suggestions to respond in this way when you’re
In a situation like this, and to feel proud about doing so! At the same time your therapist helps you to build up your willpower to resist through a whole variety of suggestions.
V ’I don’t know if I can cope with the withdrawal symptoms.’ Some people give up smoking with no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever, whilst others go through the mill with them. Why is this? The answer probably has something to do with the psychological resources accessible at the time a person gives up. What is meant by psychological resources? Well, things such as beliefs (a strong belief that you won’t have withdrawal symptoms),
Or positive feelings (a strong sense of confidence that giving up is straightforward). Whatever it is, your hypnotherapist will do his utmost to try to reduce any withdrawal symptoms you may experience, by strengthening
Your own psychological resources through the use of direct suggestion and other techniques.
You’re quitting smoking. And that means ALL types of smoking. You can’t quit
Cigarettes and start smoking a pipe or cigars, because you’re still smoking and before you know it, you are back on the cigarettes again. Oh. And that also means you can’t (and shouldn’t because it’s illegal) smoke the, er,
‘herbal’ variety of cigarettes either!
Using hypnosis to become smoke-free
How many sessions is it going to take you to become a non-smoker? Well,
Hypnotherapy can help you to quit in as little as one session.
Just as in medicine, several approaches can help you become a non-smoker.
The approach your therapist uses with you could simply boil down to how
They have been trained. Some schools teach a one-session approach to quitting, during which all your smoking issues are dealt with in one go. On the other hand, some approaches take three or four sessions to complete. In
These, each session deals with a separate aspect of your smoking habit. Each
Is as good as the other, though we both favour the one session approach as it is immediate and takes into account that at your first session you are perhaps most motivated to quit.
So, what can you expect during your therapy session? First of all, your therapist will take a complete case history (see Chapter 13) and ask you questions
That allow him to fully understand your smoking habits. From your answers
To these questions he will then be able to design a therapy session (or sessions) that is personal to you, allowing you to take control of the habit whilst breaking your daily associations with smoking.
What happens if you have had your therapy sessions but still have a strong
Urge to smoke? Don’t worry; pick up the telephone and call your hypnotherapist rather than pick up a cigarette. Any reputable therapist will make an
Appointment for you as soon as possible, so that they can help you through this crisis.
Before you go in for your hypnotherapy session, have that last cigarette.
Enjoy it, as it will hopefully be the last one you will ever want.
Using hypnotherapy to quit smoking is not magic, and very much relies on
Building up your willpower. If you enter into your therapy session with the right motivation and a genuine desire to quit, then hypnotherapy is
Extremely effective in helping you to become and remain a non-smoker.
-jjjMG/ Never Think that just because you have successfully managed to quit through
Hypnotherapy that means you are now so in control of your smoking habit, (mk ) that you can allow yourself to have the occasional cigarette with impunity. ^/ Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. One cigarette leads to another (after all, you’re in control aren’t you?), and then another (Hmm! Not so in control
Now), and then another (Ooops! Control has completely gone), and before you know it you are back where you started (and probably back to forking out for another trip to see your hypnotherapist).
Cessation suggestions
In general, a hypnotherapist helps you quit smoking through the use of suggestion. He gives suggestions that link your desire to quit to the various
Times of day that you smoke. For example, he may suggest that ‘You have no desire to smoke when you first wake up in the morning’ Or ‘You have no desire to smoke after a meal’.
Sounds too easy, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not that straightforward. What your therapist helps you do is a form of reprogramming. By associating your problem times with having no desire to smoke, the suggestions break the old unconscious associations you have with smoking; they reprogramme you. You may
Well find that you go through the day and, because of these suggestions, you
Forget about smoking for long periods of time. Why? Because your mind is no longer focused on the smoking behaviour. The association of various points in
The day with smoking has been broken.
Of course, the issue of cravings and withdrawal will be taken into account.
Many people who quit smoking through hypnotherapy say they have very few cravings and very little in the way of withdrawal. That doesn’t mean to
Say that everyone gets off this lightly. Your hypnotherapist will give you suggestions to help you cope with any cravings – after all, they only last a very short time – as well as suggesting that you have the willpower to get through
Any feelings of withdrawal.
Aversion associations
Some therapists use aversion therapy as part of the process. In Aversion therapy, Your hypnotherapist reminds you of all the terrible harm smoking does to your body, or perhaps associates the smell and taste of tobacco with something like dog poo in an attempt to scare or revolt you out of the habit.
Your hypnotherapist may even use age progression (covered in Chapter 2) to
Let you see how you damage yourself in the long run if you remain a smoker; then show you how great your life will be as a non-smoker. What a wonderful motivator!
Analytic techniques
A few therapists (more and more in the minority) use analytical techniques such as dissociation and regression (again, discussed in Chapter 2) to discover why you have been a smoker and to then move you away from the
Habit. They feel that understanding why you became a smoker in the first
Place plays an important role in your becoming a non-smoker. Our own personal view is that this isn’t necessary. Most smokers know why they started – peer pressure, rebellion – and are quite content with simply getting on with
The process of moving on into a healthier future.
Managing Your Weight
We have a hefty problem with obesity in the Western world. And this means
That more and more people are trying to find an effective way to lose weight.
They hop onto the passing bandwagon of each and every fad diet that rears its head, only to fall off again later and to then bounce back onto the next. . . and the next. . . and the next! Sound like anyone you know?
The plain and simple fact is that many diets probably do little more than make money for the people who invented them. (Is that the sound of a contract being taken out on our lives for uttering such heresy?). The majority of
Diets rely solely on restriction of food intake and therein lies a problem. By
Relying solely on food restriction, these diets do not teach people to eat
Healthily, nor do they help them to modify their lifestyle. So, once you are off
The diet you return to your old eating habits and the next thing you know all that weight you have lost is piling itself back on. In fact, studies show that
Around 95 per cent of all people who lose weight through dieting alone subsequently put it back on again! Not good news.
So why bother in the first place? Well, your health for one thing. People who
Are overweight are at a greater risk of developing:
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Heart disease
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Type-2 diabetes
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Stroke
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Joint problems
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Breathing difficulties
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High blood pressure
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It’s well worth shedding those pounds then!
Taking the safe route to the body you Want
So, how can you lose weight safely and effectively (and that means keeping
The weight off too)? Of course you need to look at what you eat and how much you consume, but weight loss and weight control do not solely rely on restriction of food. For effective weight management, the following should apply to whatever route you take to shed the pounds:
V It must not be arduous. There is nothing worse than having to force yourself to do something. If you are forcing yourself too much it becomes a drag. In the end it is much easier and enjoyable to slip back into your
Old ways, and any weight you may have lost slips back on. Remember
That losing weight is your choice and that means you have to put in some effort to accomplish it. However, with the help of hypnotherapy, the whole process can become something that you can enjoy.
V It must be flexible. Don’t be rigid. Just because eating chocolate can make you put on weight doesn’t mean you have to give it up completely. Control the amount you eat. Reduce it, but don’t ban it. Prohibiting
Something leads to desire. As the desire grows, you may find that you lose control and end up bingeing on the chocolate.
V It must be realistic in terms of weight loss and time. Most experts agree that 1 to 2 pounds a week is a safe and effective amount to lose.
V It must be nutritionally balanced. Basic common sense here. Ideally you should be eating as much fresh, organic food as possible, but not to the extent that you put weight on. This means that you should be including portions of all the food groups in your diet. Yes, that means fruit and
Vegetables too. Eating fresh and healthy food provides your body with a
Quality source of fuel. That means your body runs more efficiently and burns up that fat with more gusto. Oh, and you feel fitter, have more energy, are less prone to illness – the list of positives goes on and on.
V It must include exercise. No, this doesn’t mean having to take out a
Membership to your local gym (though that would be a positive step), but rather it means that you should be prepared to increase your levels of daily activity. The more active you are, the more fat you burn off. Simple steps such as walking more, climbing the stairs rather than taking a lift, and walking up the escalators all help you to lose weight and keep that weight off, not to mention the good it does your heart (you know, that thing in your chest that keeps you alive!).
V It must promote behavioural change. This means that your lifestyle
Needs to change. If you take on board all the preceding points, you find
That behavioural change occurs naturally and your weight drops.
Remember it was your old behaviours and habits that led to that weight piling on in the first place!
<i CHEty If you haven’t taken much exercise before and are thinking about starting to S work out at the gym, or go running, or whatever, get checked to make sure
That you are fit enough to do so. Also, get advice on how much exercise you should be doing. Suddenly going from a sedentary lifestyle to running ten
Miles a day won’t do you, your heart, your muscles, or your joints any good
At all. However, with some sensible advice and by building up the amount of
Exercise you do, you could eventually be running that marathon as you run
Off that excess weight.
Feeling hungry? Then you must be thirsty! No, you haven’t read that wrong, nor have the proofreaders of this book missed a glaring mistake. In this day
And age many people don’t drink enough fresh water. That means many of us
Are dehydrated. Unfortunately, your brain sometimes gets mixed up when
Interpreting those messages from your body that say you’re thirsty; and mistakenly registers that you’re hungry. Consequently you eat to satisfy a nonexistent hunger instead of drinking water to satiate your thirst. In fact, you should be drinking at least two litres of water each day. And that means
Water alone. Not in a cordial, tea, or coffee. These drinks are all Diuretic,
Which means they cause your body to urinate out more water than it should. Drink water and you feel far fewer hunger pangs, eat less and lose more weight.
Eating yourself thin
We’ve said it before and will say it again – hypnotherapy is not magic. You cannot go in for a hypnotherapy session and come out ten pounds lighter; it just doesn’t work that way! What hypnotherapy does is help you make
Changes to your eating and exercise habits, as well as help you enjoy the process of managing your weight. All in all, it helps you to change your lifestyle to one that keeps you slimmer and fitter and looking great.
In order to make sure you get the most out of your hypnotherapy sessions, think of the following before your first visit:
V What weight do you want to achieve? Make sure it is something sensible for you. Perhaps discuss this with your doctor if you don’t know.
V Over what period of time do you want to achieve this? Again, make
Sure it is sensible. Remember that experts recommend 1 to 2 pounds of weight loss per week.
V What is your motivation? Do you have a genuine desire to lose weight for health reasons or your body image – a good motivation – or is someone bullying you into it – the ‘I won’t marry you unless you drop 2 stone’
Brigade, which is a not so good motivation. With a good and healthy motivation your chances of success increase.
V How should you be changing your diet? Examine your diet and see
Where you can make changes. For example:
• Grill instead of fry
• Cut down on portion size
• Eat more fresh produce including fruit and vegetables
• Cut down on eating sweets, biscuits, fatty puddings, and so on
• Drink more water!
V Should you cut down on alcohol? Sorry folks, but alcohol is Fattening! We’re not saying that you need to cut it out completely – after all, a small
Amount is good for your heart (thank goodness!). Rather, reduce the amount you drink and have a couple of alcohol-free days each week.
V How can you improve on the amount of exercise you take? Remember
To be sensible. Think of times during your day when you can be more energetic (and to put the smutty minded in their place: yes, sex Is A great calorie burner!).
V What hurdles do you need to overcome? Let’s reality check. There are
Times when it is difficult to remain in control, at parties for example. How do you want to respond to the situation when temptation rears its fat, ugly head?
V How do you want to look? Hey, we all have a streak of vanity. Why not
Pander to it? But again, make sure what you want to achieve is realistic.
V Do you binge on anything? Are there any foods that when you eat them,
You lose control of how much you are eating? You know, opening that box of chocolates and simply having to eat its entire contents!
Armed with the answers to these and other questions that you’ll be asked at your first session, your hypnotherapist creates an appropriate plan of action for you. And that plan of action is probably constructed from a variety of
Techniques that certainly include direct suggestion. For example, ‘. . . You have no desire to eat sickly. . . sweet chocolate. . . in fact. . . you only enjoy the wonderful flavours of the right kinds of healthy food. . . that you know are
Right for you. . . ‘
Your hypnotherapist may put your imagination to use. For example, he may ask you to imagine that you are shopping for food and that all you buy are small amounts of healthy fresh food. He may take you into the future in your mind, so that you can experience what it’s like having lost that weight and maintained its loss too. This mental picture can help you to stop thinking of yourself as a fat person; rather, you can start focusing your self perception on
Being a thin person. Very motivational!
Some therapists may use analytical tools such as regression or dissociation, though we feel that these analytical tools should be left alone and used only
As a last resort. Why? Because for the majority of people coming for weight
Control it’s a simple case of too much of the wrong kind of food into the stomach, and not enough energy out through the muscles! Of course, there are
Some people for whom being overweight is a symptom of something deeper,
And in these cases the use of analytical tools is entirely justified.
However he works, your hypnotherapist aims to help you to:
V Take control of your eating habits.
V Improve your levels of exercise.
V Deal with any issues you may have with regard to losing weight.
V Build up and maintain your motivation.
Getting a Good Night’s Sleep
Sleep is something you normally look forward to. A time to rest and recharge
Your batteries, to take you into the next day alert and full of energy. However, sometimes the process of sleeping may be arduous and less than restful. If you fall into this category, then perhaps a visit to your hypnotherapist is in order.
Solving your insomnia
Most people experience periods when they find it difficult to sleep. Perhaps you’re stressed, or travelling from a different time zone, or just don’t know why you can’t sleep. These times are transitory and are little more than an inconvenience. However, your periods of sleeplessness may become more than transitory and develop into a recurring pattern when you are trying to get to sleep.
There are basically three types of insomnia:
V Initial sleep difficulties: You have difficulty falling asleep when you first
Go to bed.
V Intermediate sleep difficulties: You fall asleep when you first go to bed, but awaken in the middle of the night. Once you awaken you find it difficult to return to sleep.
V Early morning awakening: You sleep throughout the night, but awaken
Much earlier than you normally would, feeling unrefreshed and sleepy.
Typically you’re not able to return to sleep.
There could be many reasons why you are experiencing insomnia, but eventually the insomnia becomes a habit – a faulty sleeping strategy, as it were.
Hypnotherapy helps you:
V Develop a healthy sleeping strategy
V Deal with any underlying issues contributing to your insomnia
As with any trip to see your hypnotherapist, a little forward thinking goes a
Long way (and may mean you don’t have to see them in the first place!). Think
About the following:
V What was happening in your life when the insomnia first started? Was
There a trigger point for the insomnia, and is this still an issue for you?
V Do you eat a meal too close to your bedtime? Going to sleep on a full stomach is not a good idea. You can feel uncomfortable and the process of digestion may interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Ideally, you should not eat for two to three hours prior to going to bed.
V Do you drink a caffeine drink before bed? This may seem so obvious, but you may be surprised by the number of people who come for therapy for insomnia who drink coffee or some other caffeinated drink just
Before going to bed. Remember – caffeine is a stimulant that keeps you
Awake. If you have a drink before going to bed, make sure that you look at the label of what you are drinking to ensure that it is caffeine free.
V Do you nap during the day? If you do, you could be using up your quota of sleep before you get to bed. Try cutting out the napping and see what happens to your sleep.
V Do you drink alcohol close to your bedtime? You may think that a little night-time tipple helps you to sleep. Wrong! Even though alcohol is basically an anaesthetic, it can act as a stimulant in small doses. So have your last alcoholic drink a couple of hours before going to sleep. Oh, and don’t think that you can drink more alcohol so that you are anaesthetised into sleep! Alcohol-induced sleep is not the same as natural sleep and you still wake up unrefreshed in the morning.
V Are you overestimating the amount of sleep you think you need? Try
Going to bed a little later. See what happens.
Hypnotherapy techniques centre very much on helping you to re-associate bed with sleep. With this in mind your hypnotherapist may give you some
Advice that could include:
V Banning anything except sleep from the bedroom. That means no
Eating, drinking, watching TV, reading, or sex when in bed. You want to
Re-associate the bed with sleep and only sleep. Any other activity can be done elsewhere – and that includes sex, so why not spice up your relationship and get amorous in the kitchen or the living room? And don’t
Worry, once you’re sleeping well then all these activities can once again return to the boudoir.
V Going to bed at the same time each night. Develop a regular pattern.
V Getting up and doing something else if you can’t sleep. If you awaken and aren’t able to get to sleep again, get out of bed and go and do something else. The great hypnotherapist Milton Erickson had his insomnia patients polish their kitchen floor over and over again, no matter what
The time of night it was! When you’re feeling sleepy again, return to your bed. By doing this you associate your bed with sleepiness and eventually sleep.
V Writing down any worries or concerns before you go to bed. This is
Called Externalising. Writing down any worries or concerns helps to
Remove them from your mind, increasing your chance of focusing on sleep, rather than stress.
Trance strategies to help you to sleep
Okay, so what happens when you are in the trance? Well, a very common
Technique applies: the Law of Reverse Effect. This law basically means that
The harder you try to do something, the more difficult it is to achieve. For
Example, your hypnotherapist may try the following suggestion: ‘. . . When you go to bed at night. . . you will try to stay awake. . . and the harder you try to stay awake. . . the drowsier and drowsier you will become. . . until you fall into a deep and refreshing sleep . . . ‘ You may be thinking ‘Go to bed and try
To stay awake? Are you mad?’ Actually, no we’re not. All your hypnotherapist
Is doing is taking a strategy that you already use – going to bed and trying to sleep. The harder you try to sleep, the more awake you become – and turning
It round, putting the Law of Reverse Effect into play.
Your hypnotherapist may use direct suggestion to help you become less aware of disturbances such as the ticking of a radiator as it cools down, or the barking dog outside your house. Of course, he’ll give you a suggestion that you hear your alarm when it goes off in the morning!
If your insomnia is pretty stubborn, then an analytical technique such as dissociation may be used to help you work with the part of your mind that is responsible for your inability to sleep, helping you to understand it and to
Then get it to change.
Of course, where there is an underlying cause for the insomnia such as anxiety or depression, these are dealt with as part of the therapy process.
Your therapist may also want to teach you self-hypnosis so that you can practise it in bed at night (Chapter 6 explores self-hypnosis). This allows you to relax and to enter a state of mind that is very close to sleep. In fact, it is a
State of mind (called the Hypnogogic state) That is a natural part of the sleep
Process anyway. You can use self-hypnosis to help you deal with any unwanted thoughts as you lie in bed; perhaps imagining that as each thought comes into your mind, you pluck it out and put it into a magic box that keeps it safely locked away until the morning.
Sweet dreams are made of this – turning your nightmares into nothing
Dreams are great: a time to let your unconscious mind revel in frivolous fantasy. But what happens when dreams go wrong? Anxiety. Sweating. Waking up terrified in the night. In a word: nightmares! We all have nightmares at one time or another, and they pose little more than an inconvenience to us. However, if you have them repeatedly, they can disrupt your sleep and make you fear the very act of going to bed. With hypnotherapy, you can find a solution, so that you return to dreaming those sweet dreams that have so sadly been lacking. A visit to your hypnotherapist helps you to alter the mindset driving the nightmares. Your hypnotherapist may use several approaches:
V Direct suggestion: Your hypnotherapist can give suggestions that as
Soon as a nightmare begins, it changes into a different, more pleasant dream. Your therapist probably discusses with you the type of dream you would like so that it can be as close to what you want as possible.
V Lucid dreaming: Some therapists may teach you how to Lucid dream,
Which means experiencing your dreams in a way that allows you to control them. Through lucid dreaming you can eradicate nasty characters
From your nightmares, fly away from bad situations, or just delete the
Entire thing and replace it with something else.
Lucid dreaming does require some practise, though. However, for those who do, it proves to be very rewarding and useful. More information on
Lucid dreaming can be found at Www. lucidity. com, the Web site for
The Lucidity Institute.
V Dealing with the underlying cause: Dissociation again! Your therapist encourages you to become aware of the part of your mind that is driving the nightmares. You enter into a dialogue with it to find out what it’s up to, why it’s doing it, and how you are going to change that. During this process, you may come up with issues that need to be treated with other techniques such as regression (if, for example, there is something unresolved from your past) or direct suggestion (if, for example, you need to manage your stress levels more effectively).
However it is done, your nightmares can become a thing of the past; just a dream that gradually fades into nothing!
Sorting out snoring – for both you and your partner
Maybe your partner’s snoring keeps you awake and causes your insomnia. Or perhaps your snoring has driven your partner to sleep in another room. Whatever is happening, snoring can be a problem for any couple (and the whole household, if the snoring is loud enough!).
A hypnotherapist can do several things to help alleviate snoring. Here are the facts:
V Most people snore when they are lying on their back. When you are
Lying on your back your airways are less open, restricting the passage of air through them, causing the tissues to vibrate and therefore creating the sound of the snore. When you move onto your side, your airways open up and reduce the chance of vibration.
Direct suggestions can be given to alert your unconscious mind when you are lying on your back, and encouraging it to shift you onto your
Side. For example, ‘. . . As soon as your unconscious mind is aware that you are lying on your back. . . instantly and immediately you will move onto your side. . . as you remain deeply asleep. . . breathing freely and
Easily. . .’
V Many people who are overweight snore. The fact of the matter is if there is an accumulation of fat around your neck or chest, it puts greater pressure on your airways when you sleep. Moving onto your side helps,
Though losing those pounds improves things no end! And obviously hypnotherapy has a major role in helping you do this, as we explain in the ‘Managing Your Weight’ section earlier on in this chapter.
V Smoking causes mucus to build up in the lungs and airways. Ugh! If
You are a smoker your lungs produce mucus to get rid of the tar and other nasties you inhale. When you go to sleep at night, as you breathe, the air rattles through that mucus causing the sound of the snore.
If this is the case, book a session with your hypnotherapist and quit the habit!
V Drinking alcohol causes the muscles in your neck to relax. Not only is alcohol an anaesthetic, but it also makes muscles relax (part of the
Reason people fall over when they are drunk!). If you’re in the habit of
Having an alcoholic drink or two before bedtime, you may find that your neck muscles relax, causing the air you breathe to vibrate the tissues of your airways. The result: you snore! Think about cutting down on your drinking, or if drinking is a problem for you, see your hypnotherapist for help in sorting things out.
You snooze; your partner loses
We mustn’t forget the snorer’s partner. It may be worth their while coming in for a hypnotherapy session too. The therapist can help them to distract their attention away from the snoring in several ways. Perhaps by suggesting that ‘. . .The sound of your partner’s snoring just fades into the background… as you find yourself focusing on those enjoyable feelings of drifting off
Into a deep… deep… and refreshing sleep… and I wonder how soon it will be before you… forget completely about that snoring?.. .’or’… as you become aware of your partner’s snoring you find that in a very strange and contradictory way… it just helps you to drift into an ever deeper and refreshing sleep…’
But before you go and see your hypnotherapist, it’s a wise idea to get checked out by your doctor first. This ensures that there are no physical causes for your snoring such as overly large tonsils or a problem with your adenoids. If this is the case, then a surgical procedure may be required. And if you have a problem about going in for an operation, guess what? Hypnotherapy can help you here too!
-JttNG/ If your partner tells you that you stop breathing every so often when you are asleep, and that when you do start again you do so with a loud snore, then ) you may have a condition known as Obstructive sleep apnoea. It is important ^7 that you see your doctor so that it can be sorted out. Studies show that
People with obstructive sleep apnoea are at much greater risk of having a heart attack or developing a stroke.
Controlling Your Words: Stammering
Stammering (or to use the medical term if you want to, Dysphemia) Is a very common condition that appears in approximately one person in every hundred. It can be expressed in several ways:
V Some people become blocked when trying to say certain words or sounds.
V Some people repeat certain words, phrases, or sounds.
V Some people have long pauses in sentences.
V Some people prolong the sounds of certain words.
One of the central features of stammering is that the stammer is often accompanied by a sense of a loss of control. This can lead to fear and anxiety building up around the pronunciation of certain words. In fact, many feel that there
Aren’t any words that are impossible for a stammerer to say, only those that they have come to fear!
Stumbling over anxiety
Fear and anxiety certainly promote a stammer. Overcoming these twin hurdles is hard enough for anyone meeting someone new. But for many who stammer, the situation is worsened as the anxiety of the situation increases
The worry of saying certain words, which then starts off the stammer. If the
Person is someone in authority, then the situation gets even worse (something known as Headmaster Syndrome). Add time pressure, excitement, or
Fatigue to the equation and things get completely out of hand.
However, when a stammerer is speaking to someone they know well, many
Are able to talk quite fluently. Why? Because their levels of anxiety are well
Down, no longer fuelling the fears that lead to the stammer in the first place.
Hypnotherapy can help you to speak more fluently, and your hypnotherapist
Works in conjunction with any advice you have been given by a speech
Therapist.
The main aims of therapy are to:
V Help you to enjoy a greater sense of self-control.
V Help you to reduce anxiety in general and in specific situations.
V Help you to reinforce your speech therapist’s recommendations.
V Help you to interact with strangers more confidently.
In order to do this, your therapist uses a variety of approaches that include:
V Direct suggestion: You’re given suggestions to direct your attention away from how you’re saying a word, and to focus more on what you’re
Saying. You may also get suggestions to help you feel calm and relaxed as you say certain words, or enter into certain situations.
Where it is appropriate, your therapist also reinforces your speech therapist’s recommendations.
V Self-hypnosis: This is very useful, because with a regular pattern of practice, self-hypnosis helps you to reduce your general levels of anxiety. Also,
You can imagine yourself in a whole variety of situations, speaking calmly and fluently (see the upcoming Rehearsal bullet point, as well as Chapter 5
On self-hypnosis).
V Ego strengthening: If you’re feeling demoralised, then ego strengthening
Can help you to feel much better about yourself. Your therapist gives you suggestions themed around enjoying greater self-control.
Ego strengthening also helps you to cope more effectively with your
Stress levels and can be directed to help you feel calmer, more confident and relaxed in specific situations.
V Rehearsal: If you fear a situation, you almost always think about that situation in advance, imagining all sorts of dire consequences. What you’re
Really doing is practising a form of negative self-hypnosis. The result is
That you end up having the bad time you predicted you would have.
In hypnosis, you can break this nasty habit and start to set yourself up for a good time. Your therapist helps you see yourself coping and speaking much more fluently at these times. By doing this, you set yourself to have a positive experience.
V Paradoxical advertising: Many people who stammer often fear that the
Person they are talking to notices their stammer. By adding this fear, you put yourself under pressure to try and hide your stammer, succeeding
Only in making the situation worse!
If you fall into this category, your therapist may advise you to advertise
The fact that you stammer by saying something on the lines of ‘Bear with me, I have a stammer’. By doing so, you immediately reduce one of your
Concerns and help to improve your fluency.
Reaching a Nail-Biting Conclusion
For someone who doesn’t bite their nails, nail-biting can seem quite trivial.
However, for those who do, it is an issue that preys on their minds and adds a
Sometimes considerable inconvenience to their lives. They sit watching TV and munch away at their fingers, they get stressed and dine out on their cuticles, they stop to think and chew away at their problem through their digits!
The result is ragged, excessively short nails and, in some cases, bleeding fingers. Not very pleasant.
Biting your nails is a habit that may be associated with some other activity. And, as any nail-biter can tell you, it is often something you do quite unconsciously. It may only be sometime after you have started that you become
Aware that you are, in fact, biting your nails.
So, your goal is to have fabulous nails. What’s your hypnotherapist’s goal? Well, obviously the same as yours, but therapeutically he attempts to take your unconscious habit and make it conscious. That means handing you control of your habit. Once it is brought into your conscious awareness and you gain control, you’re able to finally stop biting your nails.
And by the way, don’t expect to hear your hypnotherapist saying ‘. . . Stop biting your nails. . As part of your hypnotherapy session. Why? Because you
Have probably been hearing that most of your life, and has it ever stopped
You? No, we didn’t think so. That is why hypnotherapists avoid using this
Suggestion.
M&l/- So what do they use? Well, something called Reverse suggestion - suggestions 4^/77\ Designed to give you conscious control over a particular behaviour, by suggest-( r "") ) ing that you can carry out the behaviour – but only if you want to. Your hyp-\&Jy Notherapist may deliver suggestions something along these lines: ‘. . . As soon as
– your hand moves towards your mouth in order for you to bite your nails. . . . it will
Instantly and immediately STOP. . . and you will become aware of what you are about to do. . This brings the unconscious behaviour to conscious awareness and is followed by the reverse suggestion ‘. . . In fact. . . you will only be able to bite your nails through a deliberate. . . and conscious. . . act of will. . They may then finish off the suggestion with ‘. . . And you choose to have beautiful. . . healthy. . . shiny nails. . . of which you can be proud. .
That sounds straightforward, doesn’t it? However, there is a lot more to it
Than that. Your hypnotherapist also gives suggestions that associate all this with specific times in your day-to-day life, when you know that you bite your nails. And to cap it all off he also wants to take you into the future in your
Mind, so that you can see yourself enjoying these wonderful new nails. In other words, really firming up a good and strong goal image that motivates
You to succeed in your quest for the perfect manicure.
Biting off more than you
First things first. Nail-biting is Not A symptom of some deep-seated neurosis! So you can put your mind to rest; you’re not some psycho serial killer because of your habit! In fact nail-biting is simply a remnant of an old childhood behaviour that gave you pleasure: thumb sucking.
To explain this further, we need to take an extremely brief journey into the world of psychology. When good old Sigmund Freud was pondering his theories of psychosexual development, he identified a stage that he termed the ‘oral stage’. In fact, it is the earliest developmental stages and lasts from birth to 18 months
Can chew: Why you bite
Of age. During this period we are said to gain pleasure and gratification through putting things in our mouth (stop sniggering at the back!). As we develop past this stage, our pleasure and gratification is derived from, er, other areas of our body (we said STOP SNIGGERING!!!). Freud thought that some of us don’t fully move on from the oral stage and end up going through life with habits directly linked to
Gaining gratification through the mouth (oh,
Come on now!), which could include non-stop chattering, chewing the ends off pens, smoking, eating, and nail-biting.
For most people who come to hypnotherapy for nail-biting, this is all that is needed. However, the wonderful diversity of the human mind means that for
Some, for whatever reason, it may not be this straightforward. If you fall into
This category you may also find that your hypnotherapist uses an analytical
Technique such as dissociation (explained in Chapter 2), to help you work
With the part of your mind that is responsible for your nail-biting.
Anything else? Well, yes! How about doing something to help yourself along the way. Set yourself up for success by:
V Buying yourself a nail file
V Buying yourself a decent pair of nail scissors
V Booking yourself in for a manicure in a month’s time
And yes, that means men too! Come on, this is the 21st century after all. Oh,
And if you bite your toenails, then perhaps a pedicure would not go amiss either!
