In This Chapter
► Sharing massage with your whole family
► Massaging your baby
► Enjoying massage during pregnancy
► Giving massage to seniors
KM/elcome To the mom-and-pop chapter of this book, the one that gives W You that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Yes, you can include everybody in the family in your newfound passion for massage, from newborn babies right up through Grandma and Grandpa. All it takes is a little creativity on your part, and the willingness to share your newfound skills.
Alt in the Family
Elaine, a sales manager from Living Earth Crafts massage manufacturing company in California, put it best: "The family that massages together, stays together."
That makes sense. If you can’t share massage with your family, who can you share it with, right? But just how exactly do you go about sharing it? Often, getting your family members to lie still for massage isn’t that easy. And getting someone to Give A massage is even harder. People all have their own agenda, their own time schedule, and their own feelings about physical contact. You are the person interested in massage, and you’re the one who is reading this book. So, if you want to introduce massage into your family, you have to use certain stealthy techniques to get everybody thinking the same way you do.
Here are a few techniques you can use to get your family into massage, even if they don’t seem interested at first:
Give a foot massage to the couch potato while he’s watching his favorite team in action.
Use massage as a reward for children who complete their homework.
Offer the family chef a massage in return for preparing a special meal.
Make the idea of massage non-threatening by offering the simple, seated, back and neck massage (fully clothed) from Chapter 12.
If someone says no to massage, respect that person’s feelings, but offer a tidbit of information that may help, such as the location of the headache-reduction massage point in the webbing between the thumb and index finger (see Chapter 13).
When a family member does agree to receive his or her first-ever massage, start out easy, with very light pressure, so you don’t turn them off to the idea. Do some gentle warmups first, and then use more intense maneuvers after the person is used to your touch.
Be willing to be the first one to offer massage and to continue offering it even if the favor is not reciprocated for a while.
Massaging my father
My father went to Emory University Hospital once for heart surgery, because his arteries were blocked. The entire family was scared.
My mom and sister and I accompanied him, and we watched as they wheeled him into the operating room, which was filled with high-tech, expensive equipment that we didn’t understand. Hours later, he came out okay, but the nurses had to strap him to his hospital bed so he wouldn’t accidentally roll over on the tubes and wires that sprouted from his body.
I stayed by his side all night, watching his pain and discomfort increase until he asked me to try to do something about it
"Would you mind giving me a little massage, Son?" he asked.
I agreed, and then slid my hands along the hos-
Pital mattress under his back until I could curl my fingers up and work on his knotted muscles. The operating table had been as hard as a block of concrete, and being strapped in one position for hours turned out to be the most painful part of the operation.
"You know, Steve," he said, his face just inches from mine, "After what I’ve been through, it feels great just to be alive. And what you’re doing feels indescribable."
So, every hour or so during the night, I awoke from sleep in the chair beside him, stretched my fingers beneath his back again, and offered the best massage I could. We didn’t speak many words, but the father-son communication between us had never been stronger. It’s an experience that bonds us to this day.
Sometimes, other people just plain aren’t into massage. Don’t force your family members into it if they’re not comfortable. More commonly, they’ll be ready and willing to experiment with massage, but only on the receiving end, leaving you perpetually in the role of giver. If, no matter what tactics you use, you still end up being the only person in your family wild and crazy enough to give massages, I say go ahead and do it! You’ll be creating a closeness that wouldn’t be there otherwise, and your family will eventually express their gratitude in other ways.
Baby Massage
"Where touching begins, there love and humanity also begin — within the first minutes following birth." — Ashley Montagu
My wife and I were waiting in line at the grocery store one day with our four-month-old son sitting in his stroller. Suddenly, the woman behind us reached over and started massaging his toes. "Massage is very good for babies," she said, "especially here on the big toe. If he’s depressed or angry, this will make him feel better." We were amazed, and it must have shown on our faces, because she looked up at us and smiled reassuringly. "Don’t worry," she said, "It really works. I saw it on TV!"
Regardless of how you feel about strangers touching your child’s feet in supermarkets, this story does point to the widespread acceptance of baby massage and child massage by people everywhere.
Cultures from around the world embrace the concept of baby massage:
■ W People from India have massaged their babies for centuries.
■ v0 Eskimos and native people from East Africa have long histories of using I Baby massage, too.
■ In Bali, children are held in constant physical contact for the first six I Months of life, and only then are their feet first allowed to touch the 1 ground.
Touch is part of the fabric of life, from the moment we first emerge from the womb into our parents’ arms. Unfortunately, the more "civilized" and technologically advanced we become, the less time we seem to have to touch our babies, and that’s why spending some quality time massaging babies is so important.
Why baby loties massage
If you spend a little time around babies, you may start to think to yourself, "Hey, babies are different than normal humans. They seem hyper-sensitive. Every little touch is magnified a hundred times. Is it just me, or do babies feel things differently than we do?"
Babies do indeed feel things more intensely than adults. This is caused by an abundance of special touch-sensing organs in the skin called Meissner’s corpuscles, Which are five times more prevalent in children three years old and younger than they are in adults. Babies have 80 Meissner’s corpuscles per square millimeter of skin versus 20 per square millimeter for adults and 4 per millimeter for seniors.
Meissner’s corpuscles are especially good at detecting light, fleeting movements across the skin, and so this type of movement is especially effective on babies.
Also, researchers at the Touch Research Institute (TRI) in Miami have found that massage can actually help premature infants grow faster and leave the hospital sooner. Touch is a lifesaver for infants, who crave it as deeply as they crave oxygen, or light. So, when you add to that the pleasure it provides, it’s no wonder babies love massage.
Baby massage moves
One thing about babies: They’re really, really small. You can tell how small they are when you try to massage them and one of your hands covers their entire back. Besides, most of the time they’re either squirming around like tadpoles or lying fast asleep. So, what techniques are you supposed to use on such tiny, wriggling creatures?
Here are a few pointers to get you started:
& Choose a time when the baby is tranquil to give the massage, perhaps after a bath, shortly after waking up, or right before bedtime.
Use light touch to stimulate the Meissner’s corpuscles in your baby’s skin, providing extra pleasure that makes him want to stay in one place longer.
W The massage may only last one or two minutes before the baby squirms away, but that’s okay. Just give as much as you can.
J> Don’t be afraid to make firm (but not hard) contact. Babies are more resilient than they look and like a nice, solid, reassuring touch. If you use only very light, tickling touch, the baby misses some of the benefits of massage.
Baby massage routine
The following moves are easy to do, as you can see from Figure 18-1. The hardest part will probably be getting your baby to sit still for them.
1. With the baby lying face up, run your fingertips lightly up over his abdomen, chest, and face, and then bring them back down again, as shown in Figure 18-la.
Remember: This move is just to stimulate the Meissner’s corpuscles, so it doesn’t need to be firm at all. You can add some extra effectiveness to this move by saying "Whoooosh!" as you bring your fingers up over the baby’s body. After a little practice, your baby begins to anticipate this deliciously pleasurable move and smile when you approach him with outstretched fingers.
2. With your hands on the baby’s sides, sweep your thumbs up over his abdomen, moving them outwards. Then lightly brush the thumbs back over the skin and repeat four to five times.
This is a calming stroke that’s good for the internal organs Note: This move (shown in Figure 18-lb) requires relatively firm pressure, and you may need some oil or lotion, as well.
3. Using your thumbs, make little circles with moderate pressure into the fleshy area of baby’s little tush, as shown in Figure 18-lc.
He may try to squirm away from you while you’re doing this move, but you may catch him smiling as he does so. This move feels great.
4. Apply an itty-bitty version of kneading to the baby’s chubby little thighs, as shown in Figure 18-ld.
Babies appreciate a little attention to these muscles, especially as they become moreactive and stand on their legs longer.
5. Help your baby stretch his legs by grasping his lower leg, pushing his knee up toward his chest, and then gently stretching the leg out straight toward you (see Figure 18-le).
Repeat this move three to four times. Support his opposite hip with your other hand to keep him steady while you do this move. Babies naturally love to stretch, just like dogs and cats, so this move feels especially good.
6. If you can get him to sit still long enough, you can apply a light (and very quick) version of the reflexology moves from Chapter 14 to your baby’s feet.
Babies are born with a complete set of reflexology points on their feet, and, in general, they love to have them stimulated, especially those little toes (see Figure 18-lf).
Baby massage training
Babies don’t need any special training to begin enjoying massage, but mommies and daddies can certainly benefit by learning a few tips from baby massage experts. Some good videos are available on the subject, and classes are given in many areas for parents, foster parents, grandparents, and anyone else interested. The massage techniques taught are not just for newborns either. Toddlers enjoy massage, too.
If you really get into it, you can become a certified baby massage instructor yourself. Some good training programs in the U. S. are offered by a woman named Vimala Schneider McClure, who experienced baby massage firsthand in India and brought it back to the U. S. She founded the International Association of Infant Massage, which now has over 2,500 members, and she wrote Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents, (Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Company).
Contact one of the following numbers or visit the following Web site if you’re interested in baby massage:
I^ International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM); contact person: Vimala Schneider McClure; telephone: 800-248-5432
J> Cinnabar School, P. O. Box 34326, Westbrook, Calgary, AB, Canada T3C 3W0; telephone: 403-246-6720; www. babymassage. com
Tender Loving Touch; contact people: Elain Weisberg and Rita Day; Louisville, KY, telephone: 502-458-7007
Not for Women Only
Massage can be enjoyed equally by men and women, of course, but there are certain circumstances in which women definitely receive a little something extra from the experience. I’m talking about that trio of specifically female conditions:
Pregnancy J^PMS
Menopause
When a woman receives a massage during any of these times in her life, it not only benefits her, but all the people she lives with as well. Keeping females happy with massage is especially important for all males who live anywhere in their approximate vicinity.
And who are the women closest to you? Usually they’re related to you in one way or another. Mothers come to mind right away, for example. Massage is one of the best things you can do for your mother, whether it comes directly from your hands or as a gift (check out the coupons from Spa Wish in the back of the book for an easy way to purchase massage gifts for your mom, regardless of what city she lives in). Wives and girlfriends deserve special massage attention, too, because they have the ability to instantaneously cut off a man’s supply of something that he loves very much indeed — his happiness.
If a lot more women received a lot more massage, there would be a lot less strife in a lot of-families. Think about it.
Massaging mommy-to-be
If you are living with a pregnant woman, you can’t do too many things for her that would make her happier than a nice massage. In fact, she’ll absolutely love you for even offering.
Labor day massage
I was once asked by a client to accompany her into the labor room and assist with some massage during delivery. This sounded like a good idea, so I read up on the subject and consulted with several experienced colleagues. When the big day came, however, things didn’t turn out exactly the way we all expected.
A few minutes after arrival in the hospital birthing suite, I reached down to massage my client’s feet between her rather powerful contractions.
"Don’t you touch me!" screamed my normally demure client in a voice that reminded me of Linda Blair in The Exorcist
Perhaps I was the wrong gender. For centuries, women have stuck together at the crucial time of labor, offering each other the support and understanding that only fAe/know how to give. A man, even with the best of intentions, often just can’t seem to get the touch right at moments like that.
About half an hour later, standing a respectful few feet away, I watched with amazement as my client’s daughter made her appearance in the world. The massage could wait for another day.
Doufas
Some women blend the lines between working as a massage therapist and a childbirth assistant. In many countries, women calling themselves Doulas Go through the process of labor with a woman, offering encouragement, support, and often touch.
If you’d like more information or are interested in becoming a doula or childbirth assistant yourself, contact the Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators, P. O. Box 382724, Cambridge, MA 02238; telephone: 617-441-2500; e-mail: alacehq@aol . com; Web: www. al ace. org.
Pregnancy massage pointers
Giving massage to a pregnant woman is perfectly safe, and there are even special massage tables with big holes in the center (so the woman can lie down on her stomach) made especially for that purpose, but there are a few points you should keep in mind for safety’s sake:
A pregnant woman should not lie facedown on her abdomen but rather faceup or on her side (unless a special table like the one described in this section is used).
In the later stages of pregnancy, she should not lie facedown or Faceup, But only on her side, because the extra weight of the fetus can put pressure on her aorta and cut off circulation when she’s on her back.
W Make sure that she’s comfortably supported at all times, using pillows and other cushions beneath her legs and head.
^ Use only very light and soothing touch directly on the abdominal area.
Stay away from the points near the heel that correspond to the reproductive organs in reflexology, because they’re supposed to help induce labor. Refer to Figure 14-3 for the location of these points.
For more information on this topic, see the sidebar in Chapter 10, "Pregnancy: A contraindication?"
With these guidelines in mind, you can confidently offer massage to your favorite pregnant person. A high percentage of pregnant women report back pain, sciatic pain, leg cramps, swelling of the ankles, and other problems that massage can help ease. So, she will definitely appreciate your efforts.
To find out more, a good book on the subject Is Mother Massage: A Handbook for Relieving the Discomforts of Pregnancy, By Elaine Stillerman (Delta Books).
PMS (Please Massage Soon)
Few people realize that the real words behind the acronym PMS are "please massage soon." The phrase was coined back in the 1970s when some men started noticing that their wives or girlfriends periodically seemed to need an especially large share of love and attention. Massage was the perfect answer, and so many a man offered his sweetie some tender touch at those times when she seemed to need it the most.
If your honey comes to you looking stressed-out or on the verge or tears for no apparent reason and asks you for a massage, do not ask any stupid questions. Just start massaging. Immediately.
Meno-posslbtlties
All kinds of crazy things start happening with a woman’s hormones about the time she’s going through menopause. Many of these things have an effect on the way she looks and the way she feels.
Massage can help create continued possibilities for health, good looks, and pleasure as a woman enters this stage of life. Massage is extremely beneficial at this time, because the increased circulation and the actions of the oils and creams used are good for the delicate collagen and elastin fibers that are beginning to break down, causing wrinkles. You’re not going to rub away the wrinkles, but you can definitely add a healthy glow to gracefully maturing
Skin. The emotional reassurance and comfort given through caring touch do a lot to renew a woman’s balance, too.
The facial and the full day of spa pleasures I outline in Chapter 15 are sure to be appreciated by menopausal women, as well as a massage.
Senior Massage
As Art Linkletter once said, "Old age is not for sissies." All sorts of things start to happen to a body after it’s been around for a while. In addition to the expected stiff joints and achy muscles, many seniors feel a deeper pain as well, the pain of loneliness.
Massage can help with the stiffness. It can help with the aches. And sometimes it can even help with the loneliness. Massage treats the little things that eventually become the big things. A little stiffness, for example, could lead to the awkwardness and lack of coordination that eventually ends up causing a fall. When seniors feel more relaxed and coordinated after a massage, they are less likely to fall.
Little daily doses of touch can make the difference between a lonely life and a more fulfilled one. We are each born yearning for touch as babies, and, as we age, the need for contact is still there, though we often suppress it.
A new movement is afoot for seniors these days. As the population in industrialized countries gets progressively older, people are not taking to the idea of retirement like they used to. A few years ago, the word Retirement Used to mean "ready to die." Now it means, "twenty more years of activities and then maybe slowing down a little." Massage can play a big part in keeping seniors vital and healthy during those years.
In Chapter 5,1 mention one of the world’s favorite seniors, and a great fan of massage, Bob Hope. He’s had a massage almost every day of his life for over 50 years, and he says it’s been an important part of what’s kept him going. As of this writing, he’s nearing the 100-year mark. Maybe we could all learn a few things about aging from him.
Reach out and touch someone older
You can easily extend massage to seniors. Most are extremely grateful for the contact. All you really need is a tiny bit of courage to take that first step. Go ahead… reach out and touch someone older. Try these suggestions to get started:
Visit a senior citizen neighbor and spend a little time with her. Offer to give her a light shoulder and neck rub.
Visit a retirement home and volunteer to make the rounds and talk to the residents. When you do, hold each one by the hand, making simple contact.
^ Self-massage is great for seniors, too. If the opportunity is there, go ahead and teach the self-massage moves in Chapter 13 to a special senior. This is also a great way to share your enthusiasm for massage with your own parents or grandparents.
You should follow a few guidelines when massaging seniors:
Seniors are generally more frail than younger folks, so use gentler movements when giving them a massage.
^ They’re not made of porcelain, however, and you don’t need to treat them like they’re going to break at any second. Start off softly, and progressively increase the vigor of your massage until you reach a comfortable level.
Make extra sure to ask for lots of feedback so you know what you’re doing is okay.
A chance to give back
In studies conducted at the Touch Research Institute, it was found that seniors received almost as much benefit from giving massage as they did from receiving. Teaching seniors how to massage their grandchildren, for example, is a wonderful way to help them feel involved and in touch with the younger generations.
You may be surprised how good the simple act of giving a massage can make someone feel. The contact is what counts. If you think Granny’s a loner who enjoys being off in a corner, give her another chance and have her help you massage the baby. You may be surprised.
Professional senior massage
If you’re headed in the direction of becoming a massage pro yourself, and you think you may want to specialize in offering your services to seniors, special organizations and trainings are available just for you. Contact the Day-Break Geriatric Massage Project in California (call 707-829-2798 or visit them on the Web at www. day break-mas sage. com). They have books, videos, trainings, and a symposium for massage therapists who specialize in senior massage.
282 ‘>art V: L’v'ng tne ^o0(‘ L’*e: Passage for Every Body
Final contact
A friend called once and asked me to come over to give a massage to his father, who had recently suffered a stroke. It took both of us several minutes working together to get his father up on the massage table, because he was weak and partially paralyzed. The stroke had also taken away his ability to speak.
For almost an hour, I did the best I could to help relieve some of the stress and fear that this man was going through. His muscles quivered. His
Eyes looked directly into mine. Near the end of the massage he reached his hand out and held onto my arm, and I felt a powerful silent communication pass between us through the touch. For 10 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute, he just Llll^^
The next day I was scheduled to come massage him again, but that morning I received a call. He was gone. Now, several years later, I can still feel the strength of his grip on my arm.
Massage can offer some serious help for older people suffering from Parkinson’s Disease, stroke, poor blood circulation, and other conditions. In some cases, patients have avoided amputations and terminal disability through the massage they’ve received. Many seniors, such as widowed people for example, are seldom touched, yet they’re the people who need it the most. Massage can help.
Touch at the end of life
Massage can offer much needed reassurance for those people near the end of their lives. Some massage pros have specialized in this type of work, giving massage in hospitals and hospices. A sizable number of clergy, members of the National Association of Bodyworkers in Religious Service (NABRS), are also involved.
You can learn more about offering this type of massage in the book Compassionate Touch: Hands-On Caregiving for the Elderly, the III and the Dying, By Dawn Nelson (Talman Company).
Chapter 19