In This Chapter
► Setting up
► Oil’s well that ends well
► Massage rules
► The massage
• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••ft*
M Was recently watching an episode of the sitcom Friends on TV, and one of *C the main themes of the show concerned the effects of massage on friendships and relationships. The Monica character thought she gave a great backrub, but her boyfriend Chandler thought otherwise. The whole show centered on how he should break the bad news to her.
We humans are sensitive creatures, and when we give something as personal as a massage to someone else, we’re making ourselves vulnerable to his or her judgement. What if they don’t like our technique? What if they don’t like Us?
When you give of yourself through massage, it’s natural to be afraid of what people may think and to wonder, secretly, if you’re doing it Right Or if you’re Good enough.
I think you should forget all about that stuff. Your massage abilities are not something to be proud of, or ashamed of. Your abilities are something you should share.
As long as you tune in and become sensitive to your partner, you can give a good massage. The idea is not to focus on Being Good, but to focus on Doing Good.
If Monica had not been so proud in the beginning, she wouldn’t have forced her own concept of what she thought was good onto her boyfriend, which set the stage for her to feel rejected and ashamed later.
Be sensitive. Tune in. Do good. If you do these things, you never have time to worry about whether you’re good or not. As long as your heart is into what you’re doing, you’re guaranteed to do it the Right way.
Setting Up
First, you need to go over just a few preliminaries to make sure you’re set up and ready to go. I assume that you’ve created a suitable Inner chamber For your massage experience and that you’ve practiced a few moves from Chapter 10. You know what to do and what not to do, and now you just have to get yourself ready and do it.
Table far one)
One thing you may notice is that the massage in this chapter is being given on the floor. It’s pretty much guaranteed that you have a floor available someplace to work on, right? But there’s a good chance you don’t have a massage table like the ones the pros use. For those of you not familiar with them, massage tables are oblong, folding, padded tables. Most of them have legs of adjustable height, like the one in Figure 11-1. These tables are great tools, and if you get serious about massage at some point, you may want to consider investing in one. New ones cost a few hundred dollars.
Figure 11-1:
Massage tables look like folding, adjustable-height, oblong, upholstered card tables.
The floor can be quite a comfortable place to get a massage, especially if you add a few pillows, a sofa cushion or two, plus a sheet and towels, as you can see in Figure 11-2.
Figure 11-2:
You can create a perfectly comfortable massage space on the floor.
…….;■„■;
Many massages have been given on beds, but in those cases the massage often leads to other activities — like sleeping! That’s right, it’s very tempting for the giver to just roll over and lounge around instead of working like he should. When you do give a massage on a bed, arrange some towels near the foot or along one edge, so that you don’t have to be up on the bed yourself the whole time you’re giving the massage.
Sheets, toutets, and so on
Don’t use your best sheets and towels to do a massage on because the oils and creams can leave stains and a musty oil smell behind. Also, the color white seems to show off oil stains the most. Many spas use darker colored linens, like green or blue^for this reason.
Other things you may want to have around include heating pads, blankets, bottle warmers, and other such comfort-creating devices. Nothing’s worse than getting a massage and not being able to concentrate on how good it feels because you’re shivering the whole time.
^ALЈ#^ It’s also a good idea to have some extra pillows to use as Bolsters For support
Beneath your partner. Massage pros use specially made bolsters, as men-/ rvCkJ * tioned in Chapter 8, but you can use normal pillows just as effectively. If you use one of your nice pillows, it’s a good idea to cover it with a towel to keep it from getting stained by oil.
Oil’s Welt That Ends Wett
Yes, it’s true. Massage can be an oily endeavor. In fact, in some countries, such as India, oil plays a major part in the whole procedure, and about half way through a massage people in Delhi end up glistening with a layer of lubricant. This is okay (as long as you have lots of towels around to sop up the extra oil afterwards). In fact, the Indian system prescribes large amounts of oil — usually sesame oil — on purpose for its lubricating and detoxifying effects. The common wisdom in most other countries, however, is that you should use just enough lubricant to, well, lubricate.
This is how you best use oil during a massage:
1. First, choose the oil (see the sidebar later in this chapter).
2. Second, make sure the oil is not cold.
When you apply cold oil to your partner’s skin, it may cause her to hit you or kick you, which is not desirable. The best way to warm the oil is to place the bottle in hot running water for a few minutes, or use a baby bottle warmer, until the oil is warm to the touch. Don’t microwave the oil, which can potentially overheat it, causing an equally adverse reaction from your partner.
3. Cup one palm and pour a small amount of oil into it.
Ideally, you want to keep the back of your cupped palm in contact with your partner so that you maintain a constant connection. The amount of oil depends on the size of the area you are massaging, the amount of body hair in the area, and the maneuvers you plan to use. You may have to experiment a few times to get the amount right.
4. Rub your palms together for a few seconds to further warm the oil and then glide your hands over the skin, spreading a smooth layer of oil over the whole surface you are massaging.
The correct amount is the amount that leaves the skin lubricated, but no puddles of oil or "greasy" spots.
Getting creamed
Skin creams and lotions are a good alternative to oil, and in fact many professional massage therapists would not be caught using anything else. Cream absorbs more quickly into the skin
Than oil, so you don’t slide around so much. Good ones leave a lubricating layer that makes it easy to work. A lot of pros choose a brand called Biotone.
Battle placement
There is an age-old feud that has gone on between massage therapists for decades over where to place the oil bottle during the massage. I know that this may seem silly to you, but you can rest assured that it’s a debate taken very seriously by otherwise intelligent adults. There are basically two camps — those that propose placing the bottle next to the person, where it’s handy but liable to get knocked over; and those that propose keeping the bottle out of harm’s way, on the floor for example, where it’s harder to reach but less likely to get kicked or spilled. Some people go as far as to keep their oil bottles in a specially made holster strung around their waist like a six-gun. This gives the average massage therapist a Wyatt Earp kind of look that is perhaps not ideal for inducing relaxation.
Where should you put the bottle of oil during a massage? In my professional opinion, speaking as a massage therapist who’s been working in the field for almost 20 years, it doesn’t really matter. Whatever’s most comfortable for you is best.
The type of bottle (and especially the cap) does matter, though. You can make things much easier for yourself if you choose a squeeze-top type cap that pours a tiny bit of oil at a time. Pump tops work well, too. If you use a wide-mouth opening, chances are you may end up with oil all over the place, especially if you have your massage area dimly lit with candles.
\laur atfn alt blends
You can incorporate the concepts of aromatherapy into your massage by adding a few drops of Essential oil To the oil you’re already using, which is then called the Carrier oil. Typical carrier oils include grapeseed, sweet almond, jojoba, avocado, and sesame, which are all good as a base for the essential oils. To make your own aromatherapy oil, blend two dozen drops of essential oil with 2 ounces of carrier oil. For added aromatherapy benefits, place a few drops in a Diffuser To fill the room you’re in with the same scent you’re using for the massage, as I suggest in Chapter 9.
Table 11-1 lists the essential oils I use in my spa therapy workshops and a description of their basic effects:
|
Table 11-1
|
Essential oils
|
|
Oil
|
Properties
|
|
Cedar
|
Reduces fluids in body tissues, diuretic. Warming in baths.
|
|
Clary sage
|
Balances female hormones. Good for scalp problems.
|
(continued)
|
Table 11-1 (continued)
|
|
 Oil
|
Properties
|
|
 Eucalyptus radiata
|
Excellent for lungs, respiratory system. Muscle tonic.
|
|
Geranium rose
|
Balances the skin by affecting sebum. Balances emotions, too.
|
|
 Juniper
|
Calming and purifying.
|
|
Lavender
|
 Anti-bacterial (first-aid kit in a bottle), calming, good for skin.
|
|
Lemon grass
|
Stimulates digestion. Antiseptic, detoxifies lymph. Uplifting.
|
|
 Orange
|
Mood elevator.
|
|
Peppermint
|
Stimulates alertness. Good for headaches, colds.
|
|
Pine
|
Pain killer. Natural deodorant.
|
|
Rose
|
Excellent for the skin.
|
|
Rosemary
|
Hair tonic. Astringent. Good for oily skin.
|
|
Sandalwood
|
Grounding and relaxing. Spiritually uplifting. Aids aging skin.
|
|
Tea tree
|
Antiseptic, antifungal, antibacterial. Good for the skin.
|
|
Vetiver
|
Grounding and calming.
|
|
Ylang ylang
|
Aphrodisiac. Relieves tension/stress. Balances dry skin.
|
The Rules for Giving Massage
Just as there were some rules for receiving, there are rules for giving, too. For the most part, these are things I’ve mentioned all along throughout the previous chapters, but it helps if you review them here, right before you actually begin giving a massage.
1. Do no harm. This is the number one rule for giving a massage. Refer to Chapter 10 and make sure you’re aware of the moves that you shouldn’t make, the places that you shouldn’t press, and the conditions you shouldn’t treat.
2. Think 3-D. Refer to Chapter 4 and try to visualize the physical structures beneath the skin that you’re affecting with your hands during the massage.
3. Use your whole body. Remember to use correct Body mechanics (see Chapter 10) in order to save your own body from overexertion while applying just the right amount of pressure for your partner.
So many oils, so little time
Walk into any bath and body shop or health food store and you see at least a dozen choices in massage oils. Which is the best one, you ask? Is it the special formula designed by the spiritual healer Edgar Cayce who "received" the recipe while in a trance? Or is it the "mango tango" scented blend that your favorite boutique down the street recently released?
Several oils available straight from the shelf in your local grocery store are usable, if not ideal, for massage. Almond oil is used in spas around the world, and you can use sesame oil and olive oil, too. But the special oils formulated just for massage really are better. They have more nutrients for the skin, and they create just the right amount of lubrication. In my opinion, it’s worth the extra money you spend to get a high-quality massage oil.
There are a few things you want to look for when choosing an oil:
*<" Ingredients: Check the ingredients. A common addition to several oil blends, for example, is lanolin, which comes from an animal source and turns some people off.
Scent: Make sure the scent is not overpowering or synthetic.
Viscosity: Everyone has his or her own preference as far as the right viscosity goes. "Thin" oils, such as mineral oil, feel a little watery and spread unevenly. This is not recommended. "Thick" oils like coconut leave a "greasy" feeling. Test a little on your palm before buying to find an oil somewhere in the middle of this spectrum that works
4. Focus on the other. This is no time to be thinking about politics, sports, the weather, or your upcoming turn to receive. As fully as you can, focus on your partner, what she’s feeling, and how you can make her feel better.
5. Go out of your mind. After you figure out the moves, practice the technique, and focus on your partner with all your concentration, then you can stop thinking. That’s right. Let go of your extraneous thoughts, and even your thoughts about doing a good job.
6. Get creative. Go ahead, go crazy; just let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling and go with your intuition. Want to leave one palm on your partner’s forehead and the other on her stomach completely motionless for ten minutes? That’s probably exactly what she needs. As long as what you’re doing is generated from caring and commitment to your partner, it is going to be the right thing.
7. Let love flow. Certain people develop an ability to send a very distinct and palpable sensation of love into their fingers and palms. You can feel it when they touch you. Everyone else has the potential to develop that ability. Why not use massage as an opportunity to explore your own innate abilities to send a powerful message of caring to others through your touch and presence? There are worse ways you could spend your time.
The Massage
Okay, here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. You can only talk about it for so long without realizing that massage is not really about talking, it’s about feeling. And as Bob Marley once said, "He who feels it, knows it."
Soon, you are going to be sailing away toward hours of massage bliss. All you have to do to get started is follow these five easy steps:
I> Cleanliness first Take your positions Invocation
The force, Luke, remember the force The first touch
Cleanliness first
You’re all set up, the mood is right, the lights are low, and now, before you do anything else, there’s one critical procedure you must follow before starting the massage — wash your hands!
Good
What does it mean to have "good hands?" It’s the one quality that mi I lions of massage lovers around the world use to describe the essence of an excellent massage therapist. As in, "Oh, that was the best massage I ever had. You have got great hands." But, because that quality is so vague, it’s a little difficult to reproduce or teach to someone else. Good hands? What does that mean?
Having good hands, as it turns out, is not really about your hands. It’s about YOU. It’s the way
Hands
You focus on your partner, the way you become sensitive to her, and the way you care. It’s also about following some very simple guidelines, which I call the "rules for giving massage." You can find those rules right here in this chapter
Follow these simple principles, and you may even go beyond having good hands to having "great hands" one day.
But do I have to cut my nails?
Once I was hired to present a massage workshop at a huge annual convention of nail technicians (manicurists) in Detroit. I never knew so many manicurists existed before. Demonstrating some basic massage moves on the feet of one class member, I then told them to exchange similar moves. Soon, the room was filled with sounds of pain and discomfort.
These women had nails an inch and a half long. Sharp nails. Some of them had holes drilled in the ends of their nails, and miniature charm bracelets dangled through them. It was impossible for them to practice massage.
If you have long nails, it’s going to be awfully hard for you to give a good massage. One of the first things people are told when they sign up for
Massage school is to cut their nails, and you can often tell a massage pro by her extremely short and neatly trimmed nails.
Does this mean you have to lop off your own dearly beloved nails in order to give a massage? Not necessarily. If your husband is the only person you’re going to be massaging, and he likes it when you run your long nails down his back, don’t worry about cutting them. You can improvise massage moves by using your palms and the bottoms of your fingers, keeping your nails lifted up out of the way. However, if your nails are long and your intention is to get better at massage and perform all the moves described here to their fullest, you have some serious clipping to do in your near future.
Washing cleanses away dirt and grime, and it also protects you and your partner from nasty bacteria. It’s a good habit to get into.
Take your positions
To begin the massage, you and your partner both have to be in the right positions. In the routine shown in this chapter, you start with your partner lying on her back, and you sit up near her head.
Some people are sticklers about this whole positioning issue, but I don’t believe in starting every massage in the same position every time. In fact, starting over and over again in the same position can lead to complacency and a boring massage it’s better to begin each massage where you are drawn to begin by your intuition, your partner’s suggestion, and your observation. Is she all hunched over by tight back muscles? Then by all means start the massage with her facedown, working on her back. The sequence of the massage shown in this chapter is not the only way.
Invocation
You may recall that in Chapter 5,1 describe a massage I received from Wesley, who’s a native Hawaiian massage therapist and healer on the Big Island. What I didn’t describe was the prayer Wesley used to begin the massage, sitting humbly on the floor beside me, melodiously intoning some words in Hawaiian: "Kou makou makua iloko okalani."
This invocation was meant to make both Wesley and me at one with the source of life. He learned it from his teacher, Auntie Margaret, and she in turn was taught it by her elders.
Although you may feel a little funny at first, it may be appropriate for you to say a couple of words of invocation as you’re about to start your massage. They don’t have to be in Hawaiian; something simple is fine, such as, "I summon the powers of healing and wholeness to be with us during this massage." Just say them from your heart, and you get your message across.
The Force, Luke, remember the Force
Remember, you’re not just dealing with a pile of flesh and bones here. Your partner is more than a series of points to be pushed and muscles to be kneaded. She has a magical inner spark, too. According to many massage philosophies, especially those from the East like Shiatsu, The body is filled with invisible pathways that are pulsing with this inner energy, variously known as Chi, hi, prana, universal-life-force-energy, And The-force-Luke-remember-the-force.
You can give a better massage if you simply stop for a moment at the beginning of the massage and focus on that force that exists within you and your partner. Remember the scenes from Star Wars When Luke was zeroing in on the Death Star using nothing but his intuition? The voice of his mentor was there in his head all along urging him to "remember the force." Tune into your own inner guidance as you begin the massage, and you may surprise yourself with how well you do.
The first touch
This is the crucial moment, when all of your preparation and practice is put to the test. Ninety-five percent of what your partner needs to know about your massage is completely obvious in the first split second, with the very first touch. At this juncture, you go forward into the realm of being and doing rather than thinking, and a new thing is created, the massage.
Reaching both hands down, place them gently and consciously on your partner’s back, as if you were touching a sleeping child and trying not to wake her. Put one up on the top of the spine near the head, and the other down by the base of the spine. Then just touch for a moment, with no need to move. You can actually summon the "force, Luke," and say your invocation at this time, too. (See Figure 11-3.)
Hold this position for a minute, with your hands on your partner’s spine, simply communicating your presence and loving intentions.
Then you can begin.
Note: You may notice that I haven’t included any stretches in this chapter. That’s because I explain stretches in the sports massage section of Chapter 16. This doesn’t mean you can’t use them during your full body massage, too, though. In fact, I highly recommend stretches. After you master some of the stretches, sprinkle them liberally throughout your massage for optimum effect.
The back
The back is a great place to begin a massage because many people equate massage with a "back rub." Although it looks large and solid, the back is actually prone to lots of little aches and pains, and much of the tension and everyday complaints people have can be found there. Thus the famous phrase, "Oh, my aching back." And finally, the back is the least vulnerable area to touch someone, psychologically speaking, so people are more likely to relax and "let you in" when you begin there.
1. Without moving your hands from the position they’re in, simply begin to rock your partner gently from side to side, by using the tailbone as a kind of handle for the heel of your hand. When you get good at it, you can extend your rocking maneuvers further up the back and down onto the buttocks and even the legs. The idea is to get a wave-like motion going through your partner’s body so that she starts to melt into the floor.
When you want to get someone out of the mood they were just in, and into the mood of getting a massage, nothing beats rocking.
2. People either love skin rolling, or they really don’t like it at all, so you have to experiment a little and ask your partner how it feels. Start by getting a grasp on the skin at the base of the neck between your thumb and your first two fingers, then "walk" this roll down the back, keeping it between your fingers the whole time. This takes some practice, so start with a partner who doesn’t mind playing guinea pig.
3. Use your fingertips to "hook" into the muscles alongside the spine near the tailbone. Then start vibrating your hand while dragging it with medium pressure back up toward your partner’s head, as in Figure ll-4a. Repeat this three times.
4. This long gliding movement spreads oil and further warms up the entire area. See the section on oil earlier in this chapter for the proper oil-spreading technique. Glide down with both hands on the muscles on either side of the spine, with your fingers pointed in toward the middle. When you reach the base of the spine, swivel your fingers toward the outside and glide back up as shown in Figure 1 l-4b. Repeat this gliding four or five times, using light pressure at first and then slightly firmer pressure.
5. When you reach the base of the spine on the fourth or fifth glide, stop and apply circular rubbing all over the sacrum, or tail bone, as shown in Figure i l-4c. You may notice that when your partner is lying down this bone is tilted in such a way that it presents a relatively flat surface, so you can lean your weight forward from your partner’s head and apply pressure to it.
6. For this next move, start with your thumbs at the top of your partner’s back, one thumb on either side of the spine. Then push your thumbs down along the "ridge" of the erector spinae muscles Very slowly, With medium to firm pressure, as in Figure 1 l-4d. This should take 30 seconds or more. When you get to a tight "spot," slow down and let your thumbs sink into it even more slowly, making a mental note to revisit this area later. Remember to use proper Body mechanics So you don’t overstrain your joints while pushing. After you reach the base of the spine, glide your way back to the top.
§1
If,
7. With your thumbs atop the shoulders and your fingers up on your partner’s back, knead the tops of the shoulders, also called the trapezius muscles, as shown in Figure 1 l-4e. While you’re doing this, you can feel for tight spots and then stop for a moment to apply pressure with your thumbs directly on those areas.
8. Switch your position to your partner’s side. Then, using medium pressure, glide your hands up the back, separating them at your partner’s shoulders and gliding back down with lighter pressure. Do this two or three times, being careful not to press too hard directly over the spine.
9. Reaching across your partner’s back, drape your fingers over her side, then pull back slowly, actually lifting her body up a tiny bit as you engage in a nifty "reverse glide," as shown in Figure 1 l-4f.
10. With "small" kneading movements, using mostly just the fingers, reach down and pull up the muscles along the back of the neck, alternating one hand after the other, as shown in Figure 1 l-4g. You can be firm, but be careful not to pinch your partner. Also, make sure not to pull her hair when you’re doing this maneuver. You should also avoid reaching around too far with your fingertips because you may end up in an Endan-germent site On the throat.
11. Now is the time for you to really focus in on the tight spots you discovered during your thumb glide down alongside the spine. Start at the base of the spine and place your thumbs in the little groove that’s formed between the spine itself and the Erector spinae Muscles that run up alongside the far side of the spine. Then press out toward the opposite side of the back, moving your thumbs in a little reverse "J" motion over the muscle, as shown in Figure ll-4h.
Never press directly on the spine itself while you’re doing this move. Instead, keep your thumbs pressing away from the spine at all times.
The main difference between a good massage and a mediocre one is that a good massage is always custom-made for each person every time. So, customize this maneuver and apply it exactly where your partner needs it this time, seeking out the tight spots you find during your earlier gliding, and then concentrating on them.
12. With your partner’s hand lifted onto her lower back, it’s easy to see the shoulder blade, which automatically lifts up and reveals itself. A great way to release tension in this area is to run your fingers along the lifted inner edge of the shoulder blade, pressing in and down while you do so, as shown in Figure 1 l-5a. Sometimes you can feel the shoulder blade lifting even further from the back as you relax the muscles.
13. Use your thumbs to zero in on the spot that lies about midway out from the spine at the level of the armpit. It’s right at the base of the inner edge of the shoulder blade, and is usually tight on almost everyone. If you can find this spot and do a thumb press with firm pressure for 10 seconds or longer, you may feel the entire shoulder "fall" away from the back in relaxation.
Knots, and what to do with them
As you get used to gliding over people’s bodies with your hands, you may quickly realize that no two bodies are the same and that, in fact, the same body can even feel different on different days. Eventually, you’ll know how to distinguish a "knot" from an area of normal muscle tone. Then you can apply the techniques you find in this chapter and Chapter 10 To start relaxing those tight places.
You could easily spend an entire hour just dealing with your partner’s knots, so you have to
Decide when enough is enough, and move onto the next area. This is a tough call, because your partner’s knots and sore spots are the areas that need the most attention.
In general, during a full body massage, spend no more than 5 minutes on any particular tight spot. If you want to focus on it more later, schedule a special session just for that purpose.
14. Tap all across the upper and lower back, being careful to avoid the
Spine, as shown in Figure 1 l-5b. This is a typical way to finish massaging the back, and every body part for that matter. It feels good, but I find it sometimes disrupts the calming, soothing effect of the massage. Only use tapping if your partner wants it, or if he’s about to jump off the table to engage in some activity, in which case some serious karate chops and loose fist pounding are called for. Otherwise, stick to some soft fingertip tapping at this point, or leave it out altogether.
^fotyf 15. After you press and rub on all the major spots, it’s time to bail out of the " ^ back area, but you don’t want to make your exit too obvious, lest you
Shock your partner and cause sudden back-massage withdrawal symptoms. So make your departure from the back a gradual one and use gliding Connective strokes. See the sidebar, "Creating wholeness" later in this chapter.
Creating wholeness
You can create a better experience for your partner if you never really "finish" one part of the body. Because, if you finish, that means the clock is ticking, and the massage is slowly dripping away. It’s better to create the illusion of timelessness by connecting ail the pieces of the massage together into one whole.
So, after you "finish" the back, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t allow your hands to move
There again. In fact, it’s a good idea to add some "connective strokes" throughout the massage so that it feels as though you never completely finish with any particular part of the body. You can even connect the front of the body to the back by reaching beneath your partner during certain moves, as you see later in this chapter.
Back of the tegs and buttocks
The buttocks contain the largest muscle in the human body, and they do a large percentage of the work. Without them, you couldn’t walk, sit, or dance the "Bump." Buttocks really deserve a lot of respect, but often they’ve been disparaged and have unfortunately become the "butt" of many off-color jokes. Don’t let this flippant attitude about buttocks keep you from spending some serious time there during your massage.
1. After you glide your way down from your partner’s back and reposition yourself by your partner’s legs, apply some oil to the entire back surface of one leg with firm gliding strokes, circling your outer hand around at the buttock and gliding more lightly back down.
2. Lift your partner’s foot, supporting it with both of your hands while applying circular rubbing all around the ankle bone with your thumbs and fingertips of both hands, as shown in Figure 1 l-6a.
It helps your partner relax if you can get her to "let go" of her lower leg and allow you to take the full weight of her limb in your hands. Take a look at the "Limp arm experiment" in Chapter 7 for a reminder on how to do this.
Be careful not to press too hard directly on the upper ridges of the heel bone right behind the anklebones, because it is a sensitive area and may be uncomfortable for your partner.
3. Before you put your partner’s foot back down, do some gentle shaking movements, using the foot as a "handle" to move the leg, as shown in Figure ll-6b. This can help relax the muscles of the entire limb, right up
Into the joints, in this case the knee and hip. Practice until just using a gentle shaking at the foot can produce a rhythmical movement throughout the body up to the head.
4. The largest muscle in the calf is actually separated into two "bellies." It feels great to run your thumbs or the tips of your fingers up the middle of the calf, separating the two sides, as shown in Figure 1 l-6c. You can also make a straight line up on either side of the middle.
5. While you knead the calf muscle with a back and forth motion, move your hands up and down also, so you cover the entire muscle, as shown in Figure 1 l-6d. Stop about 2A Of the way down from the knee because the calf tapers down to the Achilles tendon there and becomes too thin to knead. At that point, you can continue by squeezing the tendon between your thumb and fingers down to the ankle.
6. Grasping the leg just above the ankle with both hands, use the webbing between your thumbs and forefingers to create a tight seal. Then squeeze in and push up at the same time, moving slowly, as shown in Figure 1 l-6e. Stop when you reach the back of the knee. With this maneuver, you can actually help move stagnant blood out of the limb, improving circulation. If you do it correctly, this move may incite your partner to say something like, "Whoa, that’s intense!" Take this as a sign that you’re doing things right, but also make sure that you’re not squeezing too hard. There’s a fine line between intense and painful.
Remember to apply only very slight pressure over the back of the knee! And be careful to avoid any varicose veins.
7. Making your hands into fists, apply pressure with the knuckles into the back of the upper legs, called the hamstrings, as shown in Figure ll-6f. Knuckling is a form of gliding that is especially appropriate to this area because each knuckle slides between the long bands of muscles here.
8. This move feels like an ice cream sundae for the leg muscles. Knead from the top of the leg down to the knee, moving up and down three to four times. To make this move most effective, try keeping as much of your hand in contact with the skin as possible as you squeeze, roll, and push.
9. Depending upon how big any particular buttock is, you have a variety of choices of where to press, but to be most effective you have to find just the right spot. In order to do that, palpate the outer upper edge of the tailbone (sacrum), and then go straight down toward the leg half way across the buttock. This should be right in the middle. Press directly in here with thumbs, as shown in Figure ll-6g. Use your fingers, fist, or elbow at an angle perpendicular to the surface/Hold this move for 5 to 10 seconds. This move is particularly beneficial for sciatica pain.
Turning over
In my opinion, not enough is said about the art of turning over during massages. Often, this turn is the only physical effort a massage recipient has to make for over an hour. And, as it comes right in the middle of the experience, there’s a potential for it to be disruptive and a little jarring. For these reasons, most massage pros are quite gentle with their clients when it comes time for them to turn. In a soft, soothing voice, they say something like, "All right, Mr. Smith, I’m going to ask you to gently roll over onto your back now. Take your time."
You have to watch your wording carefully because there are those who take what you say too literally. I have one client who is a world-class athlete, and once when I asked him to "flip
Over," he literally flipped, springing a foot off the table and twisting over in midairto come crashing back down on the table, splintering one of its wooden legs.
When it comes time for your own partner to turn over, follow the example of the pros:
Be gentle V Speak softly
Give them as much time as they need
F Assist them if necessary, offering support
Use the words "roll over" or "turn gently, please" instead of "flip"
10. Knead the thick muscles of the buttocks, particularly on the upper, outside portion, which often tends to be the most sore, as shown in Figure 1 l-6h. You have to watch where your fingers are going while you squeeze, roll, and push here, though! It’s kind of a tight area to work in.
11. Because the buttocks include the largest muscles in the body, they can withstand some heavy percussion movements. Use loose fists and firm pressure, but be sure not to pound with your fists on the tailbone, which is much more delicate. Then move the tapping down the leg, opening your fists so that you’re doing karate-chop moves. Remember to lighten up over the back of the knee!
12. Apply light fingertip brushing up the back of the leg and onto the back, then back down again. After pummeling, pressing, squeezing, and kneading your way across your partner’s back, fingertip brushing is a really good way to remind your partner how nice you are. You can extend the move from the feet all the way to the head.
After you finish the first leg, switch to the other leg and repeat. Remember, because you already connected the back with the first leg, you want to do some connecting strokes when you begin the second leg as well. So, make your initial gliding on the second leg go up and over the buttocks and onto the lower back.
Face and scalp
After your partner has turned over, you are presented with entirely different terrain to massage. The front of the body is a little more perplexing. There are more intricate surfaces to deal with, as well as more private, vulnerable, and delicate areas. Therefore, you need to be more of a diplomat while massaging the front of someone’s body. Most people allow just about anyone to give them a backrub, but when it comes time for you to touch the front of their body, they have to trust you.
^\NG/ The face, for example, is quite a private area. Although it’s exposed to the ^3fev World for all to see, it’s not there for all to touch. You have to be sensitive as you begin to massage your partner’s face. Avoid large gestures, or quick movements. All of your maneuvers here, including those you make before you even touch your partner, should be smooth, deliberate, and slow.
You probably don’t need any extra oil for the face. The oil left over on your hands from massaging the back is sufficient.
1. Start by placing your hands gently on the side of your partner’s head, thumbs resting on the forehead. This is the perfect position from which to start massaging the forehead with some thumb gliding and firm circular rubbing. First, glide your thumbs out from the middle toward the sides, starting low by the brow, making three to four lines progressively higher. Then begin making circles with your thumbs, as shown in Figure.1 l-7a, all across the forehead.
2. Leaving your hands in about the same position, begin using the fingertips instead of the thumbs. Circle your fingertips into the side of the head around the spot where sideburns would start if your partner had some, as shown in Figure 1 l-7b.
3. Using the tips of your first two fingers, trace around the edges of the bones that surround the eye — across the brow, down along the nose, and around the top of the cheek bones, as shown in Figure ll-7c. You may try a little mini-kneading along the same path with your thumbs and fingertips.
If you apply pressure very near the eyes or directly on the eyelids, make sure your partner isn’t wearing contact lenses.
4. Glide your fingertips lightly across the top and down along the sides of the nose, being careful not to block your partner’s breathing passages. At the base of the nose, near the outside edge of the nostrils, is a good place to apply light to moderate pressure and small circular rubbing, as shown in Figure 1 l-7d, which helps open sinuses in the area.
5. Use your thumbs in an "opening" gesture to fan out across the cheeks from just under the inside corner of the eye down toward the jawbone. The pressure you apply should be light to medium.
6. At the corner of the jawbone, slightly in front of and below the ear, you find the chewing muscles. In order to palpate them, ask your partner to clench her teeth, which makes these muscles bulge slightly out to the side. Then apply circular rubbing with the fingertips, as shown in Figure 1 l-7e, all around this area. Locate the highest point on this muscle, directly in the center, and use some pinpoint pressure directly inward for 5 to 10 seconds while suggesting to your partner, "relax your jaw, let your mouth open slightly, and just breathe."
7. Use some pinch and roll kneading to walk your fingers and thumbs from the jaw muscles out onto the chin, as shown in Figure ll-7f. Glide back softly and repeat twice more.
8. Most people love for you to massage their ears. Use your fingers and thumbs to pinch and roll the ear from the lobe up around the edges to the top, as shown in Figure 1 l-7g. Repeat this twice and then tug gently for a second on the top, back, and bottom of the ear.
9. The scalp is often mistaken for a thin flap of skin without much potential for massage moves, but actually it’s a great place to use medium to deep circular rubbing with the fingertips, as shown in Figure 1 l-7h. Keep lifting your fingers up slightly, moving them a half-inch or so, then placing them firmly on the scalp again. During the rubbing, keep your fingers glued to the scalp and move the muscles below it over the cranium. Be careful not to pull your partner’s hair while doing this move.
Favorite places
Everyone has his or her own particular favorites when it conies to getting a massage. Some swoon over an ear massage, while others go into ecstasy as soon as you lay a finger on their forehead* Oftentimes, you can find these "favorite places" somewhere on the head, neck, or face, although other areas like the hands and feet are popular, too.
Encourage your partner to communicate with you about any areas that feel particularly therapeutic or pleasurable. Then, during her next massage, spend more time focusing on the area she likes the most. Shell enjoy the sensation and appreciate you for remembering.
/ 82 Part‘""The Art of ^iving Passage
Neck and shoulders
We refer to just about anything that bothers us as a "pain in the neck." Perhaps this is because the neck is particularly vulnerable to feeling pain. Filled with delicate nerves, vertebrae, and vessels, your neck can give you pain if you simply turn your head too quickly. Massage is a great way to soothe some of the minor complaints that people experience in this area, many of which are a reaction to stress. Be especially sensitive when massaging here, "tuning in" to your partner’s muscles and letting what you find guide your movements. Sometimes, simply by adding your awareness to the equation, you can help your partner get rid of that pain in the neck she’s been complaining about.
1. The "shoulder swoop" move may be a little tricky at first, but after you master it you have a great tool under your massage belt. Pouring a small amount of oil into one palm, rub your hands together, then place them on your partner’s upper chest, with your fingers pointing inward, as shown in Figure ll-8a. Slide your hands outward, pivoting your palms on top of the shoulder so that your fingers end up beneath your partner’s upper back, as shown in Figure 1 l-8b. Finally, glide your hands in and up the back of your partner’s neck to the base of her head, lifting slightly while you do so, as shown in Figure 1 l-8c.
2. Slip your fingers beneath your partner’s neck, cradling her head in your hands. Then lift very gently just until you can turn her head to one side, supporting it in your bottom hand. Rock her head back and forth slightly until your partner no longer tries to hold onto her own neck muscles. You can then use the other hand to apply circular rubbing to the muscles in the back of the neck, as shown in Figure ll-8d. Move your circles up and down, and when you find a tense spot, apply some pinpoint pressure. By using both hands for different purposes (one massaging, the other cradling the head), you have extra-effectiveness with this move.
3. Still supporting your partner’s head in one hand, use the other to knead up and down the back of the neck. Practice switching the position of your hands during this maneuver until you can create a fluid sensation for your partner — left, right, left, right. This feels darn good.
4. Supporting your partner’s head with both hands, lift up and forward, bringing her chin toward the chest, as shown in Figure ll-8e. Hold this position for about 5 seconds, being careful not to twist your partner’s neck. Then slowly lower her head back down. I believe this is the only stretch you should try with the neck until you receive further training.
5. Pushing down with your palms, glide across the tops of your partner’s shoulders, also known as the trapezius muscles. As a more intense alternative to this move, you may try using the knuckles to glide in this area, too.
Take the muscles on top of your partner’s shoulders between your thumbs and fingers, kneading with a good amount of pressure, as shown in Figure 1 l-8f. As your fingertips reach down beneath your partner’s back, curl them up so you’re applying pressure in that area at the same time.
Now that the neck and shoulders are warmed up and relaxed, use some pinpoint pressure with your thumbs to zero in on the tight spots you find, as shown in Figure 1 l-8g. Remember to keep a straight line from your elbows and shoulders to your thumb so you don’t stress your joints.
To create a smooth transition, finish the neck and shoulder area with another shoulder swoop. Then move down onto your partner’s left shoulder and arm with a long flowing glide, which leaves you in position to begin massaging the hand.
Figure 11-8:
Taking the burden off someone’s shoulders.
Arms and hands
Arms and hands are some of the most active parts of most people’s bodies. Think about it. Even couch potatoes use their arms and hands to reach for the potato chips and open cans of beer. In fact, just about everybody is so used to doing things with their arms and hands that, at first, you may find it challenging to get your partner to "let go" in this area (see the "Limp arm experiment" in Chapter 7 for help in getting your partner to "let go"). However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t perform some spectacularly beneficial and pleasurable massage moves here.
The secret of good arm and hand massage is to make your moves smaller and to focus on the little details. Every pinkie finger counts!
A typical reaction you may get when you begin massaging in this area is, "I didn’t know my arms were so sore until you started doing that!" Good massage techniques can put vitality back into this active, expressive part of your partner’s anatomy.
1. Your initial gliding in this area spreads the oil, of course, but it also does much more. At this time, you help your partner "let go" and loosen up. You accomplish this by offering some support to the limb at the wrist and elbow while you’re gliding. This means you’re actually picking the arm up and supporting it with one hand while gliding with the other. Practice switching hands with this lift-support-glide maneuver until you get fluid with it.
2. Begin kneading the palm. You’ve already picked up your partner’s hand, so you’re in the perfect position for this move. You can flip your partner’s hand up and down to work at different angles, spreading open and squeezing between the bones of the palm.
3. You have to build up a little dexterity in your fingers in order to get this knuckle rolling technique down. One at a time, curl your fingers closed into a fist then open them back up again over your partner’s palm, as shown in Figure 1 l-9a.
4. Squeeze each finger as you pull slightly at the same time, moving up from the base of the finger to the tip, as shown in Figure 1 l-9b. Make sure to rub the sides of the fingers as well as the tops and bottoms.
5. The pressure point in the webbing between one’s thumb and index finger is especially good for helping to relieve headache pain. The best way to massage it is with direct pressure from your thumb, as shown in Figure ll-9c. Hold this pressure point, pushing in toward the bones of the hand, for approximately 5 seconds.
6. This little move feels surprisingly good. While holding your partner’s hand palm-down, you apply circular rubbing over the top of the wrists, as shown in Figure 1 l-9d. For serious wrist problems such as Carpal tunnel syndrome (CST), see Chapter 13.
7. The forearms are jam-packed with muscles all crying out for attention. In this move, you use your thumbs to trace lines straight up the forearms from the wrists to the elbows, as shown in Figure 1 l-9e. This is a deep gliding that is meant to sink down between the bands of muscle in this area.
There are special massage moves for the forearm that are effective on tennis elbow, and you can find out about them in Chapter 16.
8. Your kneading movements on the forearms are basically a smaller version of the ones you used on the legs, but this doesn’t mean they aren’t just as effective. Try to get as much of the muscle tissue between your thumb and fingers as possible, and remember to involve your whole body in the movement, all the way down to your hips, as shown in Figure ll-9f.
9. With your partner’s elbow bent and resting on the ground for support, encircle the arm at the wrist with both of your hands, creating a tight seal around the entire circumference. Then begin pushing up the arm Very slowly Until you reach the elbow, maintaining firm pressure the whole time. This "squeezing toothpaste through a tube" glide is great for tired, achy arms that need some renewal.
10. In order to massage the entire upper arm from one simple position, lift your partner’s arm up, supporting it at the elbow, allowing her hand to fall back toward the floor near her head. Then use your free hand to massage the upper arm. For example, in Figure 1 l-9g the left arm is supported by your left hand, allowing the right hand to massage the biceps. In Figure 1 l-9h, your right hand supports the elbow, leaving the left hand free to massage the triceps.
As you’re doing this move, make sure to keep track of where your partner’s hand is. If you’re banging it against the side of her head, it detracts from the pleasure of the experience.
This is a perfect position for stretching the upper arm and chest, too, and you find instructions on how to do just that in Chapter 16.
11. Grasping your partner’s hand near the wrist, shake the whole arm gently until you can see some movement way up at the shoulders, neck, and head. Try positioning her arm at three different angles to achieve a different stretch on the shoulder joint: down by her side, out at a 90-degree angle, and up by her head.
12. Finish the arm with a light fingertip glide that floats up over the shoulder to the chest, where you’re going to massage next.
Repeat this sequence on the opposite arm.
Torso
As a species, we’ve taken a big collective risk by standing erect on two feet and exposing our defenseless underbellies to the world. The front of your body, especially the abdomen, can be a very vulnerable area, and you have to be extra sensitive when applying massage moves here.
Your abdomen is the physical home of many emotional realities such as fear, anger, and intuition. That’s why we say we have a "gut instinct" about something. You’re not just massaging a stomach when you place your hands on your partner’s belly. You’re massaging her soul. This fact has been recognized by many Asian cultures, such as the Japanese, for example, who have even given this soul-in-the-belly a name: the Hara.
Make your movements on the chest and abdomen gentle at first, until your partner relaxes a little and allows you to massage more deeply. Keep in mind that your touch here penetrates to the deepest layers, both physically and psychologically.
1. Place your thumbs across your partner’s upper chest muscles below the collar bone, with your fingers reaching down toward his sides, as shown in Figure 11-lOa. Begin some kneading, which, as you soon discover, is a tricky maneuver to perform without causing your partner to squirm and writhe in fits of hysterical giggling. Yes, this area can be quite ticklish. Start out gingerly, like a kitten pawing a pillow, then gradually intensify, always staying within your partner’s comfort level.
This area can be extremely sensitive, especially on people who exercise a lot or who are overly ticklish. Be careful not to poke your fingers into your partner’s ribs or armpits. And make sure to use extra oil if your partner has a lot of chest hair.
2. Lifting your hands off the chest just slightly, begin pressing back down by using pinpoint pressure of the thumbs along a line about two inches below the collar bone, as shown in Figure ll-10b. This can have a beneficial effect on your partner’s breathing, "opening" the upper ribcage.
3. Placing your fingertips near the top of the breastbone, push in gently and then begin circular rubbing as you move slowly down toward the abdomen, as shown in Figure ll-10c. As your fingers skim over the edges of the breastbone on either side, you find ridges and valleys where the ribs attach. Make a small circle in each one of these valleys, too, as you move down.
4. Gliding on the abdomen not only spreads oil and relaxes muscles; it also aids digestion. Your large intestine runs clockwise starting on the lower right-hand portion down by your hip bone, up along your side, across
The base of your ribs, and down your left side. When you massage in this same direction (clockwise), you’re helping the digestive organs do their job. Press in with firm but sensitive pressure so your movements affect these organs as well as the muscles on top of them, as shown in Figure ll-10d.
When you get really good at circling your hands over the belly, try speeding up your movements a little by letting your left hand glide right over the top of the right each time they cross paths, without pausing to lift the left hand up. This creates a smoother flow for you and a neat sensation for your partner.
5. Right around the navel, in the pit of the belly, is where people often store pent-up emotions. By gently touching several points here, applying just the softest pressure inward, as shown in Figure ll-10e, you can help coax the emotions out. It’s possible that your partner may sigh with relief or even begin to cry when you press here with sensitivity and compassion. This is a good time to offer nonjudgmental support and perhaps even suggest a positive image, or visualization, your partner can focus on. See the sidebar, "Visualize whirled peas," later in this chapter.
6. This move offers a chance to massage the lower back while your partner is lying face up, and it’s a nice stretch, too. Slide both hands over the waist until the fingertips slip down all the way to meet at your partner’s spine. Then curl the fingertips up to apply a little pressure as you simultaneously lift the whole lower back a fraction of an inch upwards and glide your hands back toward the abdomen, as shown in Figure 1 l-10f. Repeat this move three times.
During this move, make sure you’re not putting too much strain on your own back. Position yourself close to your partner’s side, and use your legs and hips to do the lifting.
7. Finish the abdomen with a glide that swoops around your partner’s side at the hipbone, onto the front of the legs, and then down to the feet.
Front of the tegs and feet
Think of how many miles your feet and legs have put in for you, selflessly hanging around beneath the rest of your body, taking you everywhere you want to go, seldom asking for anything in return. The average person doesn’t realize how great a good leg and foot massage feels, and so you can surprise your partner with the simple, effective techniques in this section.
You finish the full body massage on the legs and feet because this is where we stand, literally. Ending here leaves your partner feeling more grounded and "down to earth."
Feel free to spend some extra time on the feet. Although the full foot massage isn’t described until Chapter 14, you can incorporate many of those moves here as well.
1. Begin by pushing in with both thumbs on the bottoms of your partner’s foot and then "spread" the sole open as you move your thumbs out toward the side, as shown in Figure 11-1 la. Use firm pressure and repeat this move three times.
2. By using the thumb on the sole and forefinger on top of your partner’s foot, rub between the long bones of the foot, as shown in Figure 11-1 lb. You should find a "groove" between the bones that you can easily slip your finger into.
Make sure to press sideways, as well as inwards, against the foot bones.
3. Holding the top of your partner’s foot in one hand, use the knuckles of the other hand to "rake" into the arch of the foot in a continuous one-knuckle-at-a-time movement, starting with the pinkie finger, ring finger,
Middle, then index, over and over, as shown in Figure 11-llc. Done correctly, this move feels exquisite, but you have to build up considerable finger dexterity to achieve that.
4. As if you were squeezing a coin, rub each toe between your index finger and thumb, as shown in Figure 11-1 Id. Start with the little toe and progress toward the big toe, making sure to rub on the sides of the toes as well as the tops and bottoms.
5. Then, find the exact location of your partner’s shin bone, also called the tibia, and then apply firm pressure with both of your thumbs together along the outside (lateral) edge of this bone as you glide your way slowly up toward the knee, as shown in Figure 11-1 le.
6. You have to use mostly the tips of your thumbs and fingertips to knead effectively on the front of the lower leg because, as you may notice, the front of the lower leg is mostly bone. Contain your kneading/squeezing movements to the fleshy areas on either side of this bone as you move up and down from near the ankle up to the knee, as shown in Figure 11-1 If.
Visualize whirled peas
At many points during the massage, you can offer a visualization to help your partner relax and melt more fully into the experience. These visualizations usually incorporate three ingredients:
V* A reminder about how important it is to breathe during the experience.
^ Some guidance about what specifics to think about during the visualization.
^ A positive message meant to uplift your partner’s state of mind.
I cover breathing pretty extensively in Chapter 7. After you have your partner breathing evenly and deeply, then if s time to suggest an image to visualize, and when it comes to visualizations, concrete is better than vague. Make the images you suggest extremely specific, including textures, colors, sounds, and even aromas.
An example of something vague to visualize is World Peace. Plenty of people may tell you to visualize it, but how do you do that? What does
World peace look like? What color is it? How big is it? How would it taste? Does it need any salt?
I personally find it much easier to imagine smushed vegetables, which perhaps explains the existence of a well-known bumper sticker that urges us to "visualize whirled peas." It may sound silly at first, but can’t you just see them there, swirling around topsy-turvy inside the blender, eventually turning to green mush as the blades increase from chop to blend to puree?
Of course, the image of pureed peas itself is not enough for a fully effective visualization. You have to include the ever-important uplifting New Age message, which in this case may well be, "Seethe color green as a vast see of tranquility. Imagine each pea as a grain of green sand on an unending beach of bliss."
Or something like that.
7. Reaching around behind your partner’s knee with your fingertips, lift slightly while making circles over the sides of the knees with your thumbs, as shown in Figure 11-llg. Use moderate pressure inward against the knee while making this move, and monitor your partner’s response closely; some people are ticklish in this area.
8. Continuing up over the knees, use your palms to glide with firm pressure in an upward direction on the front of the thigh, also known as the quadriceps muscles. Slide back down the thigh with light pressure and repeat four to five times.
9. Apply kneading to the front of the thighs. This is where you can use some really big movements, sliding your hands all the way from the inside of the thigh to the outside in a constant motion. Remember to use your whole body to create the kneading motion, not just your arms and hands. And don’t be surprised if you work up a sweat during this move.
10. Imagine a line running along the outside of your partner’s thigh from knee to hip (right where the stripe is on many warm-up suits). Starting at the knee, apply pinpoint pressure with your thumbs to a series of points along this line, as shown in Figure 11-llh. Hold each point for 3-5 seconds, then release and move up to the next point. When you reach the hip, slide back down and repeat one more time.
This area is often very sensitive on many people, so you have to be careful when pressing here. Start out softly and increase pressure gradually. You can tell if you push too hard by noticing that your partner tenses his leg. If this happens, lighten your pressure.
This is an advanced move that requires quite a bit of trust on your partner’s part. You are putting him in a vulnerable position, one leg bent at the knee, with the hip open to the side. By using your palms, press down firmly just above the knee, then glide slowly up toward the hip, as shown in Figurell-12a. For even more intensity, use your knuckles insteadof your palms. Glide your hands back down to the knee with light pressure then repeat twice more.
Lighten your pressure as you approach the upper thigh, which contains many delicate nerves and vessels.
Lay your partner’s leg flat again, and then glide your hands upwards over the thigh. When you reach the hip, swivel your outside hand around and slip your fingers toward your partner’s lower back, as shown in Figure ll-12b. Glide up as far as you can alongside the spine, then press your fingers up into the muscles there as you slowly pull back down toward the hip again, letting some of your partner’s weight do the work of pressing. When you reach your partner’s leg again, continue gliding down by using both hands on the back of the leg, lifting slightly to get your hands underneath. Finish your glide down at the foot.
13. Cupping the heel in your palrn, lift your partner’s leg just an inch or so, reminding him to "let go" if he tries to lift the leg for you. Shake back and forth with a vibrating motion.
14. Your last move on the leg is a light fingertip brushing down from the hips toward the feet to leave your partner feeling "grounded."
Repeat this entire sequence on the other leg.
The grand finale
As with so many things in life, like fireworks and circus acts, in massage it’s the grand finale that really counts. Sure, you can apply superlative techniques all throughout the massage; flowing from one bliss-inducing maneuver to the next in seamless perfection; but if you finish with a ho-hum squeeze of the toes and then rush off to grab a cold one from the fridge, you’re going to leave a slightly disgruntled partner behind. It’s like watching a good movie with a bad ending: All anyone can talk about is how bad the ending was, not how good the rest of the movie was.
The way you end the massage leaves a lasting impression. To make your finish the best it can be, follow these steps:
1. Use long gliding strokes that flow over the entire body, starting at the feet and moving up onto the torso then down the arms, as shown in Figure 11-13. This is the lightest kind of long-soft-light gliding, not meant to actually affect the tissues beneath the skin, but rather to send your partner a message of connection (see the sidebar, "Creating wholeness," earlier in this chapter).
You don’t have to wait until the end of the massage to use Connective strokes. In fact, you can use them throughout the entire massage to connect everything together. Starting an arm? Connect it to the neck you just finished a moment earlier. Go ahead, experiment. Connect away! The point is to make your partner feel that you’re treating his body as a whole, not segmenting it into chunks.
Figure 11-13.
Whole-body connective strokes create a sense of wholeness and continuity for your partner at the end of a massage.
Figure 11-14:
Placing your hands softly on two areas also creates a sensation of connection.
2. To finish your massage, place one hand on your partner’s forehead and the other gently upon his belly, letting them rest there in contact, but without pressure, for 30 to 60 seconds, as shown in Figure 11-14. You may begin to feel his pulse, or some warmth emanating from his body. This is good. Just tune in to whatever it is you’re feeling and, for just these last few seconds, make sure your partner knows he’s the center of the universe.
This type of intentional hand placement to balance your partner’s inner energy is known in some quarters as Polarity.
The last moment of the massage is as important as the first. When you finally break contact with your partner for the last time, make it a conscious, gentle letting go.
In This Chapter
The subtleties in the wording are important in the interpretation. The implied grouping symbols need to be written when translated into mathematics. The English language can be misinterpreted (in world relations, too, of course), so it’s usually a good idea to use as many descriptive words as necessary to be sure that your mathematical meaning is understood.
Solving equations involving one number
The variable always represents a number.
The sum of three times X And Y
(x + y) – 5 5 – (x + y) 4 + X
The Problem: Separate the number 20 into two parts so that five times the smaller part plus eight is equal to the larger part. What are the two numbers?
The word Variation Has a special definition in mathematics. When two numbers Vary directly, It means that one of the numbers is a Direct Multiple of the other. The numbers 7 and 21 vary directly, because 21 is three times 7. When two numbers Vary inversely, It means that one number is some multiple of the reciprocal of the other.
The usual situation with variation problems is that you’ll be told that two numbers vary either directly or inversely with a specific result. Then you have to figure out what that particular variation is and how it applies to another number.
By 8, you see that K = 9. Now use the relationship Y2 = 9 X3, replacing the Y
Stefanie was hired to paint the numbers on the How many times did Stefanie have to paint the doors of the offices in a new academic building. number 9? There are 100 offices, numbered 1 through 100.
8
29
2×2-
Quadratic equations may yield two different answers. Sometimes both answers work in a word problem. But in some instances, only one works or neither of the answers actually answers the question. Just because you can solve a quadratic equation for a correct answer to the equation, it doesn’t mean that what you get will solve the original question. The question may be unsolvable.
-36.jpg)
In This Chapter-70.jpg)
First joining Medicare because of disability (with no other creditable drug coverage)-121.jpg)
-63.jpg)
-82.jpg)
-158.jpg)
-66.jpg)
Only during the AEP from November 15 to December 31 each year. (You’ll pay a late penalty based on any months without coverage.)-103.jpg)
-79.jpg)
Annual-41.jpg)
-144.jpg)
I You want to be able to mosey over to the pharmacy and pick up your meds without hassle after your Medicare drug coverage begins. Giving your Part D plan enough time to upload your data into the computer system increases the odds of this process going smoothly. (Flip to Chapter 14 for the basics on filling your prescriptions.)-118.jpg)
Chapter 8.-4.png)
Keep the plan details as a record of why you chose the plan. If you-47.jpg)
Chose it from the online Medicare Prescription Drug Plan Finder, print out all the details that show your likely costs and keep them safe. If you called the Medicare help line for the same information, keep the printout the customer rep sent you. You need this record if, after enrollment, you believe the plan’s charging more for your drugs than it quoted on the plan finder and you want to change to another plan as a result, as explained in Chapter 17.-37.jpg)
Deciding how to pay the premiums-23.jpg)
If you receive only the acknowledgment, your enrollment probably will be confirmed very soon, and you’ll receive your membership card and Evidence of Coverage, as explained in Chapter 13. Read the following sections if your plan sends you either a request for more information or a denial notice.-49.jpg)
-108.jpg)
W You’ve applied to a Medicare Advantage plan but don’t have Medicare Part A and Part B. (Both are required for MA plans. To join a stand-alone Part D plan, you need only one or the other. To join a Medicare Cost plan, you need only Part B.)
